Free My Reality by Melissa Rycroft Page A

fun.”
    WHAT???
    I stared at him in shock.
    Did he really just say that? Did he really not care if I left or not? Did he not realize that I was telling him I was going to go DATE someone else?!?
    And then, even though it was the answer that I had wanted, anger came over me again, like the anger I had felt the night I waited in his room for him to get home so that I could finally confess my feelings for him. I shook my head in disbelief and walked out of his house. I was very calm. But, more important, I was now 100 percent sure of my decision. I was going to go. And I was absolutely going to make the most of my experience. I was fed up with trying to salvage a relationship that felt so one-sided. And for the first time, heartbreak or no heartbreak, I was genuinely excited about leaving and starting this new adventure in my life.
    That next day, while I was sitting in my cubicle at work, I confidently signed my contract and mailed it off. A week later, I received confirmation that I was officially a cast member of The Bachelor Season 13.
    Meanwhile, it had been announced that the new Bachelor was going to be Jason Mesnik, who had previously appeared on The Bachelorette. Now, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that I was a contestant on the show, but of course, my best friends knew. They had been involved in the entire audition process. And as soon as they found out who the Bachelor was, “Operation Melissa & Jason” was in full effect. As far as they were concerned, anyone was better for me than Tye, and this guy actually seemed like he might be a catch.
    One day, we were over at Stefani’s house, hanging out andtrying to find something to do, when Reagan got a very devious look on her face and pulled Stefani and me into her office. We all crowded around the computer, and she started searching for videos of Jason on YouTube. Honestly, the Bachelor could have been an eighty-year-old man with no teeth, and they still would have found ways to get me psyched about him. At this point, although I was excited about going on the show, I was also determined not to fall in love with the Bachelor—no matter how wonderful he may be.
    Reagan and Stefani pulled up video clip after video clip. They “oohed” and “aahed” their way through every single one. I couldn’t help but smile. They were trying so hard to get me excited about going—and not just about going—but about dating, and finding a potential husband while I was there.
    “Look how sweet he is,” Stefani said.
    “Look how cute he is,” Reagan said.
    “You could really, really be good with him,” they both said.
    Yeah, he lives two thousand miles away from me, he’s seven years older than me (which wouldn’t have really mattered, if I weren’t being picky), and he’s a contestant on a reality TV show. Sounds like a great fit . . . um . . . not really.
    I was going through the motions because I knew my friends had been so good to me for so long, and they had a right to want me to move on and finally be happy. And, slowly, their efforts started to pay off. Maybe I was just fooling myself, but I did start to think: He is cute. He is really sweet.
    And soon, I wasn’t just pretending for my friends.
    I felt like I had to be enthusiastic of my own volition, or at least try, because this was a way to FINALLY shake myself free from my cycle with Tye. I made a conscious decision to see The Bachelor experience as a fun adventure. If nothing else, I’d get to live in a mansion and not have to work for at least two weeks!
    Stefani and Reagan may have been gung ho about me leaving to be on the show, but my parents were most definitely not. Every time I made it to the next round of The Bachelor auditions, I let my mom know. But she never really said anything. Her silent disapproval was really hard for me. Looking back, I think I really needed her support because I was in such a vulnerable place after Tye. Even more than that, I needed her approval and her encouragement,