Free My Reality by Melissa Rycroft Page B

as I finally did something for myself—something that would force me to be independent again.
    The fact that my mom didn’t understand my decision made me doubt that my dad would, too. And so, I never brought it up in conversation with him. I imagined it would have been too awkward saying: “Hey, Dad, I’m going on TV to date one man along with several other women!”
    My confirmation that my parents’ feelings about my new adventure were less than enthusiastic came right after I had received my final contract from The Bachelor. I went over to their house for dinner, and I was completely dreading the conversation I planned to have with them. As we all know, it’s the worst feeling to inspire disappointment in our parents. And I was well aware that I was at risk of causing them to experience it. Without too much small talk, I decided to just go for it—the whole ripping off the Band-Aid approach.
    “So, I made it onto The Bachelor ,” I said. “And I think I’m going to do it.”
    My mom had no response at all, which is the one reaction that I absolutely can’t bear. Nothing makes me crazier than silence, just like when I told Tye I loved him, and he didn’t say a word. I stopped what I was doing and confronted her.
    “Please understand why I’m going,” I said.
    “I don’t understand it,” she said. “I don’t see why you have to leave town to date someone on a television show.”
    I immediately knew that not only was she totally against it, but nothing I could say or do would change her mind. I guessed that she and my dad had already shared confidences about it—how against it they were, how afraid they were that I’d do something to embarrass them, how they just didn’t understand. Sadly, after that, it became something we didn’t really talk about.
    As I agonized over my final decision about whether I should go, I didn’t share any of my thoughts or fears with my mother. When I finally chose to go, I told her the date I was leaving. And that was the end of the discussion.
    Next up was tackling the logistics of the move. Preparing to leave for taping proved to be almost as big a feat as deciding to go! According to the producers’ instructions, I had to pack for up to two months and be prepared for all types of weather, while keeping in mind the rules of looking good on TV: no white, no stripes, and no heavy patterns. But I was not told where I would be living or what life would be like, so I had no idea if I should pack for LA or for Alaska. It was hard enough packing for two months, let alone the fact that I didn’t know where I was going, or what I would be doing when I got there. Included in the packet was a full-page checklist of items to bring: swimsuits, sweaters, T-shirts, tank tops, casual day dresses, winter jackets, and mittens. Oh, not to mention the fourteen formal gowns for the show’s Rose Ceremonies.
    What?!? Is it cold? Is it hot? Is it winter? Where the heck am I going? I couldn’t pack all of these items for a WEEKEND getaway . . . let alone a possible two-MONTH stay!
    The list of what I was not allowed to bring was almost as long aswhat I was told to pack, just as on any reality TV show, on which you never see cameras, cell phones, magazines, books, crossword puzzles, or anything that’s at all entertainment oriented.
    Hmmm . . .
    Did I fail to mention that our luggage was also extremely limited? I couldn’t believe it.
    I’m a girl. I have makeup. I have hair stuff. I have shoes. That alone could fill several bags! How do I possibly even begin to make this work?
    It all seemed kind of ridiculous, and I was quickly starting to question whether I had made the right decision.
    At first, it seemed impossible to overcome the packing challenges, but then I really started thinking about it. As much as I wanted the adventure of going on The Bachelor , I wasn’t actually going on the show to look for love. I was simply going to move on with my life and find a new, happy place