Free 1995 - The UnDutchables by Colin White, Laurie Boucke Page A

of the written word.
    Only when the PROTEST is met with overwhelming apathy does the disagreement gain momentum. The sympathetic ears and mouths now become an offended action ( aktie ) group, and the disagreement automatically enters the OBJECTION phase. This phase is an overzealous form of the PROTEST and can include pleas, threats, demands and anything else that would likely win the day. The more determined objectors arrange for details of their dispute to be included in specialist community publications.
    The final conflict is manifested as the APPEAL. To win it requires all the support and cunning a Dutch(wo)man can muster. The APPEAL is a battle of wits and manoeuvring in both written and verbal form. (When a Dutch neighbour was once asked for advice about a dispute, she advised, ‘ Je moet nu een grote mond opzetten ,’ lit., ‘ Now you have to open your mouth wide .’)
    This four-element procedure is followed at all levels -official and unofficial, domestic and bureaucratic. It is valid in the case of an inconsiderate neighbour. Similarly, most official letters dealing with governmental finances end with a clause stating that YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO OBJECT ( bezwaar indienen ) to the Government’s decision. Even the annual income tax form states, ‘ After some time you will receive a reply to your letter of objection. If you do not agree with this reply, you can appeal .’ You usually have 1-2 months to APPEAL. Depending on the circumstances, your letter can be sent to the office in question, or to the mayor or the Queen.
    Causes
    The causes, protests and incessant gum-bashing about ‘opinion’ are all done in the name of freedom and the Dutch concept of democracy. As soon as the suffix -vrij (free) is added to a noun depicting a supposed evil force, the word is sanctified and warrants flagrant public display, for example, ‘ kernwapenvrije gemeente ’ (nuclear weapon-free community) and ‘ rookvrij gebouw ’ (non-smoking building).
    Although the Dutch will scrimp and save every last cent, morsel of food or scrap of clothing whenever possible, they do like to give, but only to what they consider to be a worthwhile cause. This is usually through an organized foundation ( stichting ) with tax-free status.
    A FUND FOR RELIEF FROM PERSECUTION AND EUTHANASIA OF AMPHI-EROTIC, ONE-LEGGED MICE IN THE SOUTHERN PROVINCE OF WESTERN ZILDENAVIA would give the Dutch pride in their worldly consideration. Such a cause would be supported as totally justified as it encompasses the following (Dutch readers, please note that the order presented is alphabetical and in no way politically or emotionally prejudiced):
gay rights
handicapped rights
lesbian rights
rodent rights
trend factor (popular since the 1970’s: ‘We hate America(ns),’ anti-nuclear all, euthanasia, etc.)
unfamiliar location/ethnic rights.
    This cause will warrant demonstrations, riots and, most important of all, collections. Donations will inevitably be void of taxation.
    The logic behind the attitude is described in promotional material from an Gtrecht aktie group:
    Actions, in which and through which, people are offered the opportunity to take action themselves .
    Any legal resident of Holland may hold a demonstration. It is a democratic right. Whether it is supported by five or 50,000, it is allowed to take place. Demonstrations must be well organized and co-ordinated with the local authorities. Every town or city has its own rules for this activity. Specifically, you must inform the local police of the intended date, time and especially the GOAL of the event, after which you will be advised of any necessary modifications to:
date and time, which will be changed if any previously-approved demonstrations or civic events conflict with your plans
route, which will be changed or streets closed to traffic, depending on the anticipated support for the cause.
    When all is agreed, you will receive your demonstration permit and the necessary preparations can be