Free Firewall by Sierra Riley

shifted and it was him that broke the gaze as he brushed a hand back through his blond hair. “I just haven’t clicked with anyone. I mean, all the women I’ve seen have been wonderful women but the chemistry just isn’t there.”
    Justin was growing more anxious and excited by the moment, hoping that the expression on his face didn’t betray him too much.
    “Have you ever tried dating men?” Justin had to ask, although his voice almost failed him.
    Calder locked eyes with him again while straightening up. That gaze was intense and it was clear that Calder was thinking through his answer. The suspense was nearly killing Justin, and Calder’s gaze was making him warm.
    “I’ve never been with a guy before.”
    Justin’s chest felt tight with unwarranted hope. Calder hadn’t outright rejected the idea of being with guys. He had just said that he’d never been with one before. Maybe that could change.
    “O-Oh. Well, if it’s something that you might enjoy, you shouldn’t deny yourself. I know I’m not the best example of a guy dating guys but...”
    “What do you mean?”
    “I don’t sleep around much, you know that. And I’ve had even fewer boyfriends.”
    “That doesn’t make you any less of a gay man,” Calder laughed. “Everyone does things at their own pace. As long as you’re happy, it’s no one else’s business.”
    Justin hesitated and looked down at the burger on his plate.
    “ Are you happy?” Calder questioned.
    “I get lonely like anyone else,” Justin admitted as he fidgeted with his utensils to keep his hands busy. “I don’t feel the need to go out there and get laid all the time but I do miss simple companionship.”
    Calder frowned. “You deserve that.”
    “If I can salvage my reputation and get over some of my hangups, it might get better.”
    “You can do it. Justin, any guy would be lucky to have you.”
    “You think so?”
    “I know so. You’ve been my best friend for years. It takes a while for you to warm up to people but when you do, you’re fun to be around and so kind. Don’t let those idiots that haven’t taken the chance to know you get to you.”
    The blush crept back to Justin’s cheeks as he gazed. His heart was pounding and his groin was warm from the affectionate words. While Calder reminded him of this through emails and texts when Justin was feeling down, having him here in person to say it was incredible.
    “And when the right guy comes along, you’ll know.”
    Justin’s world was thrown into a jumble of emotions as he gazed to Calder. He wanted to admit all of his feelings for his best friend that second, as much as he knew he couldn’t.
    Calder was the first person he thought about when he woke up in the morning and the last person he thought of before drifting off at night. Getting good morning texts from him to start the day made his day a bright one right from the beginning. Having him text good night before he went to bed made his dreams nicer as well.
    And Justin hoped against hope that his messages made Calder feel just as appreciated. He never wanted Calder to doubt that someone was thinking of him.
    Now would ‘have been the perfect moment to spew his heart to Calder but he couldn’t do it. They were working together now. Hell, he’d hired Calder! As his bodyguard-slash-personal assistant, Calder needed to be professional and have his head in his game. It wasn’t Justin’s place to distract him now.
    Justin swallowed his words and smiled, nodding. “Thank you, Cald. I’m sure I’ll know. You shouldn’t rule out guys if you think one of them might be the right person for you, too.”
    Calder made a noncommittal sound that crushed Justin’s spirits a little, but he tried not to show it. Instead, Calder brought the hamburger to his mouth and took a big bite. “This is great.”
    “Thanks,” Justin responded as he dug into his own food, too, letting the silence fall around them.

14
Calder
    W hat had all that been