Free Inconsequential (J+P series) by D.A. Roach Page B

she stated innocently.
     
    “I suddenly lost my appetite.”
     
    “No, no, no, sit tight Perry.  It’s gonna be fine,” she reassured me.
     
    Greg strutted over with his food.  “What’s up Jen?”
     
    “Nothin’.  How was break?”
     
    “Good,” he simply replied.  I had my eyes trained on the table.
     
    “And the concert?  The one Perry got you tickets to?”
     
    “Fine.”
     
    “Cool, yeah, well - you go enjoy your little meal.  Thanks for the great conversation.”  Greg walked off.  Jen had a way of talking down to someone and making them the butt of her joke without them realizing it.  She could be relentless and I never wanted to be on her bad side.
     
    “What was that about?”  I asked her.
     
    “I think you’re right Perry, he’s different.  What the hell happened between the two of you?”
     
    I sat debating whether I should confide in her.  I didn’t think Jen was the best secret keeper, but the worst that would happen is me losing Greg… that has already happened so there was no risk. “We kissed the night of the gift exchange.”
     
    “WHAT!”
     
    “Shh!  No one knows, except Greg, myself, and now you.  If everyone knows about it I will never get him back.  He has been so distant since it happened.  I had hoped it would be better once we got back to school.  But apparently not.”  I said with tears in my eyes.
     
    “Oh Perry, I am so sorry.  I can’t believe this.  Listen, you just need to talk to him and tell him you could care less about the kiss and you need his friendship back.”
     
    “Jen, he won’t even look in my direction.  What the hell?!  It’s not like I’m going around blabbing about it to everyone or acting like we are a couple.”
     
    “No shit.  I had no idea it even happened.  But it makes sense; you guys were gone a long time getting that beer.  Listen, just talk to him alone sometime.”
     
    I nodded and pushed my food away.  I was too upset.  I listened to Jen fill the space with her ramblings of Christmas break and Edward.  I needed to hear it, I needed my brain occupied. 
     

 
    Chapter 14
     
     
    BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ.  The dreaded alarm.  I needed more sleep but doubted my teachers cared about that.  A night of tossing and turning in a pool of negativity did not make for a good night’s rest.  My inner dialogue was screaming at me for a good part of the night until I was sufficiently beat down.  I wasn’t used to having these emotions at college; I’d only had to deal with them at home.  Greg hadn’t said anything bad to me.  In fact he barely spoke to me at all.  But his absence from my life was blaringly loud.  I jumped out of bed and stumbled to the vanity where my clothes were laid out.  I pulled on my leggings, long sweater, and my boots.  I stole a glance at my reflection in the mirror and the negative comments began criticizing me again.  “No wonder he wants nothing to do with you, you are hideous.  You look like a poodle having a bad hair day.  You are so fat and ugly, no one would want you.”  I pulled my hair back into a scarf wrap and wiped away the tears.  Molly was still asleep and I was glad for that.  This was private.  This is what I grew up with.  You’d hear it, attempt to block it out, yet it still found a way inside to rot your soul.  You stood tall and put on your mask of indifference and went about your day as if all was fine, when inside there was only decay.  I grabbed my book bag and headed to class. 
     
    I was only half focused on the lecture this morning.  It was hard because I was fighting both fatigue and an evil inner voice.  I needed some solitude. I would hideaway from my friends for a week.  I would eat meals at different dorms or at times when I knew no one else was eating.  I would not do any social events.  I would hole up in my room and do nothing but study.  This was a great idea. 
     
    I made it through the morning and ate a bagel and an