Free Miss Brown Is Upside Down! by Dan Gutman

My name is A.J. and I hate being smart.
    If you ask me, being smart is dumb. When you’re a smart kid, grown-ups expect you to be smart all the time. Then they get all upset when you do something dumb. But when you’re a dumb kid, grown-ups expect you to be dumb all the time. Then when you do something dumb, it’sno big deal. But when you do something smart, they act like you’re a genius.
    That’s why my friends and I act dumb all the time. We want to lower the expectations of grown-ups. That’s the first rule of being a kid.
    It was Monday morning. We were in Mr. Cooper’s class, arguing about which one of us is the dumbest.
    â€œI’m dumber than you are,” said Michael, who never ties his shoes.
    â€œI’m dumber than both of you,” said Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn’t food.
    â€œI’m the dumbest kid in the history of the world,” said Neil, who we call the nudekid even though he wears clothes.
    â€œI was dumb before any of you dumbheads were even born ,” said Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard all the time.
    We had to end the discussion. You’ll never believe in a million hundred years who ran into the door at that moment.
    Nobody! Why would you run into a door? That would be really dumb. But you’ll never believe who ran into the door way .
    It was Mr. Klutz, our principal! He has no hair on his head at all. But he did have a hat on his head, and on top of the hat was a big lightbulb.
    That was weird. Mr. Klutz’s bald headalready looks like a lightbulb. So he really doesn’t need a lightbulb hat.
    â€œCan anyone guess why there’s a lightbulb over my head this morning?” asked Mr. Klutz.
    â€œBecause it didn’t fit in your pocket?” I asked.
    â€œA.J., you need to raise your hand,” said Mr. Cooper. “Don’t just blurt things out.” *
    Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair, was waving her hand in the air like she had to go to the bathroom really badly. Andrea keeps a dictionary on her desk so she can look up words andshow everybody how smart she is. Of course, Mr. Klutz called on her.
    â€œA lightbulb over your head means you have a good idea,” she said.
    â€œThat’s right, Andrea!” said Mr. Cooper.

    Andrea smiled the smile that she smiles to let everybody know that she knows something nobody else knows. Why can’t a truck full of lightbulbs fall on her head?
    â€œDo you want to hear what my good idea is?” asked Mr. Klutz.
    â€œYes!” said all the girls.
    â€œNo!” said all the boys.
    I didn’t want to hear Mr. Klutz’s idea. Usually, when he has an idea, that means we have to learn stuff. Learning stuff is boring. If I was principal of a school, nobody would ever have to learn anything. I would let the kids have recess all day long.
    But you probably want to know whatMr. Klutz’s genius idea was.
    Well, I’m not gonna tell you.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

“We’re starting an exciting new program!” Mr. Klutz told us.
    All the girls started whispering to each other and rubbing their hands together, as if we were going to get ice cream or something.
    â€œYou’re going to participate in the BrainGames!” said Mr. Klutz.
    The Brain Games? I didn’t like the sound of that. I hate using my brains. Using your brains means thinking. And thinking means learning. And learning isn’t fun.
    That’s when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened.
    A lady walked into our classroom.
    Well, that’s not the weird part, because ladies walk into our classroom all the time.
    The weird part was that the lady walked into our classroom on her hands !
    â€œI’m going to let Miss Brown explain the Brain Games to you,” said Mr. Klutz.

    â€œMiss Brown is upside down!” I shouted.