Free Kiss the Earl by Gina Lamm

he’d snuck under the bleachers with a few jocks and they’d passed around a forty, and then afterward, Ella had driven him home in his mom’s minivan. A “magical” ten minutes in the backseat, and she’d been relieved of the burden of her virginity.
    Ella winced, bringing the covers up to her nose. She wasn’t proud of that. But at least she’d been a willing participant. She couldn’t exactly say the same of the disastrous date she’d had in college. Fortunately, a little self-defense training went a long way, and she’d been able to get away from that asshole. That one was supposed to be a movie and a late dinner after. Instead it’d been an uninvited grope and a trip to the ER for the asshat.
    Another snore met Ella’s ears, and she smiled despite herself.
    Patrick wasn’t like either of those guys. Of course, he was also titled, engaged, and completely off limits, but still. She was here, a couple hundred years before any of her experiences had even happened. She was so far away from her past mistakes—maybe they couldn’t touch her. Maybe her regrets wouldn’t haunt her here. Maybe she’d been given this chance to become a braver, better, stronger person than the Ella Briley who lived in a small apartment and tried her hardest to avoid life outside her comic pages.
    Maybe she could. Maybe she would. And maybe Patrick would help her.
    Just then, a loud yowl rumbled through the covers and echoed in the otherwise silent bedroom. Ella grabbed her stomach, trying to silence it. It only growled louder, signaling her hunger for probably three counties.
    A hearty chuckle came from Patrick’s direction. Of course he wouldn’t sleep through that.
    â€œYou seem famished,” he said, smiling over at her. “Shall I ring for some breakfast?”
    Ella wanted to fall underneath the bed and die. Instead, she just nodded. God, how embarrassing.
    â€œIf you’ll excuse me,” Patrick murmured, then stood. He yanked on what Ella presumed was a bell cord, then disappeared behind a screen in the corner.
    Oh God . Ella’s stomach dropped. There was something she hadn’t thought about. There were no flushing toilets here. Before, she hadn’t stayed long enough for it to be a problem. But now? It was a problem. And she was in the same room. With a man. A handsome, polite gentleman. Who would hear her pee if she didn’t do something drastic.
    Patrick reappeared from behind the screen, adjusting his breeches and then wiping his hands clean with a wet cloth.
    â€œMaybe you should go get us some breakfast,” Ella said, looking toward the window. Her legs shifted nervously beneath the covers. “I mean, go downstairs and see if it’s ready.”
    â€œI just rang for it,” Patrick said mildly, drying his hands on a towel. “They’ll be up in a moment.”
    â€œBut what if they need help? Shouldn’t you go check?” Things were getting desperate. Now that she’d heard him go, her bladder was tap-dancing. Things were urgent.
    He gave a laugh. “You are truly extraordinary. I am an earl, and we are guests here. I’m no idler, but the servants are completely capable of bringing up a breakfast tray for—”
    Ella clamped her knees together with a whimper. “Please. Don’t ask me why, but I need you to leave for a minute.”
    He didn’t lose his smile, but his brows peaked in confusion. “Well, I—Oh.” He went as pale as the white curtains at the window as her situation finally dawned on him. “Oh. I’m so sorry, of course. Privacy.”
    He grabbed his waistcoat and coat, and pulled them on, yanking open the door at the same time, muttering apologies all the while.
    Ella would have laughed if she could have, but as it was, she had one goal, and it was behind that screen. She swung her feet over the side of the bed, and as carefully as she could, she