Free Beware of Love in Technicolor by Kirstie Collins Brote

back home in New Jersey did it. What she liked to wear, what he liked to eat afterward. If I hadn’t been so blind with rage, I might have learned a few things.
                  When we had wandered about a hundred yards or so down the railroad tracks, the group started to slow down. It was dark, with only the light of the full, harvest moon and the faraway glow of the university to guide our eyes.
                  “This looks like a good spot,” Prim said, and they all stopped. She took something out of her pocket, handed it to John, and struck her lighter. The flame lit up the small group for a moment, and I saw a joint dangling from John’s lips, He leaned down, and let Prim light it up.
                  He stood up straight and inhaled deeply. The end of the joint glowed orange. Even in the dim light, I could see the idiot smile on his face. He coughed, stumbled backward, and handed it off to Topher. Topher took his turn, and attempted to pass it to me.
                  “No, thanks,” I said shortly, and walked away. I heard Brett decline as well, and his footsteps in the gravel as he joined me about ten feet away from the circle.
                  “You don’t smoke?” I asked him. We sat down on the outside rail, our knees touching.
                  “Nah, don’t drink, either,” he said.
                  “It doesn’t bother you that Topher is doing this with you here?” I looked at him closely for the first time. He was kind of cute. Cuter than John, but not as intriguing.
                  “Should it?” he asked. “I never thought about it.”
                  I shrugged, and scattered some pebbles with the toes of my boots. The crunching sound under my feet was satisfying in the otherwise quiet of the night. Julie interrupted our conversation.
                  “C’mon lovebirds! We’re freezin’ our asses off out here!”
                  “Lovebirds?” I heard John say. He must have forgotten I was there again. I heard his heavy footsteps approach, and saw the gleam of the moon off the toes of his black boots. I looked up, way up, to his face.
                  “Having fun?” he asked me.
                  “The most,” I replied.
                  Brett helped me to my feet. The group started making its way back to the light of campus. Brett and I walked in the lead, with the others straggling behind. John was stumbling along behind me by about six paces.
                  “It’s cold,” I said to my new buddy. “My hands are freezing.”
                  “Here, give them to me,” Brett said. He took my hands in his and rubbed them warm.
                  “What the fuck?” I heard John mumble behind us, right before he stumbled off the tracks and fell to the back of the group.
     
     
    ***
     
     
                  I let Brett hold my hands all the way to the pizza place downtown. Once there, John slid himself into a booth, while Prim and Topher went to order. Julie disappeared to the ladies room.
                  I had a decision to make. Should I keep pushing John? I didn’t know him very well, but I could see I was the buzzkill I had every intention of being. I looked at him and we locked eyes. We were each too stubborn to soften.
                  I slid into the booth adjacent to the one John was in, my back to him. Brett slid in next to me. I pretended to be interested in whatever it was he was babbling about. I laughed where I ought to, and tucked my hair behind my ear. I could feel John’s eyes boring a hole in the back of my skull.
                  Prim and Topher were obviously confused when they approached the two tables with trays of pizza and cokes. Topher sat with us, the girls sat with John. Julie pined for her long-distance, sex-machine