Free Slippage by Harlan Ellison Page A

suffers the vicissitudes of a debased clientele. I understand your predicament.
     
    CASSANDRA
    Then you'll unnerstand why, for the good of business, I urge you to piss off.
     
    NINO
    Ah yes. Business.
    (beat)
    Have you ever considered the range of unexpected tragedies that could befall an unwary shopkeeper whose insurance premiums, no matter how exorbitant, would not begin to cover the mysterious spraying of DDT all over her goods, or the inconvenience resulting from perhaps all of a sudden the truckers who schlep said wares from the distributors decide they've lost the bills of lading and said goods wind up in Beirut, or the constituted authorities suddenly get it into their vengeful heads to toss the businesswoman's apartment for illegal and noxious substances which would, I'm sure, result in said authorities discovering nickel bags of such vegetation and powders stuck down in the pillows of a sofa?
    (beat)
    Pardon my complex syntax, but I imagine you get my drift.
     
    CASSANDRA
    (back pedals)
    Okay, okay, get off my case!
    (beat, scared)
    Yeah, I set it up for this guy. But I'm just a sort of clearinghouse for a select few demons and soul-traders of a very high quality.
    (beat)
    There's this quota of souls they have to make each year, just to stay in good with the boss; and I'm just sort of a canvasser, a scout, to steer the likely prospects.
     
    NINO
    Excellent.
    (beat, as he takes out money)
    Here. This will provide the fiduciary impetus for you to set up a meeting with Mr. Volkerps. For us.
     
    CASSANDRA
    (horrified)
    When?
     
    NINO
    Now.
     
    CASSANDRA
    (more horrified)
    Where?
     
    NINO
    Here.
     
    Cassandra is now blithering. Her eyeballs seem to want to jump out of her head.
     
    CASSANDRA
    You're outta your mind! I can't do that! This Volkerps has a very ugly personality. It'd think I'd turned him.
     
    NINO
    (over his shoulder)
    Mr. Chaucer, would you like another arm for your collection?
     
    Gus starts toward Cassandra. She yowls and makes a stopping motion with her hands against the air.
     
    CASSANDRA
    I'll lose my deal with him and the whole netherworld...you trying to get me snuffed?
     
    NINO
    Have you ever considered how cold and uncomfortable it is being hung upside-down on a meat hook in a freezer?
     
    CASSANDRA
    You sure you're not related to this demon?
     
    Nino smiles and pats her cheek as we:
     
    DISSOLVE TO:
     
     
    21 - SAME SCENE - LATER - FULL SHOT
     
    Blinds have been pulled across the front of the shop. A pentagram has been drawn on the floor in blue chalk, and candles have been lit. Cassandra stands, safely protected from demons, in the center of the design, as the other three hug the walls.
     
    CASSANDRA
    (chants)
    By all the mages of Solomon's court, by the three-eyed moon of Ashtaroth...I call on thee, Volkerps, to come forth!
     
    The cloud begins to form, the lightning and thunder begin to flash and roll, and Volkerps appears as he did in scene 2. He takes one look at Cassandra, and the others, and roars.
     
    VOLKERPS
    (filter FX)
    I smell betrayal!
     
    CASSANDRA
    No, honest to—
     
    VOLKERPS
    (filter FX interrupts quickly)
    Don't say it, don't invoke; if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, don't invoke !
     
    CASSANDRA
    They made me call you! Get'm, do it oh mighty Volkerps, waste them!
     
    Volkerps muses for a devilish moment, closing two of his three blazing green eyes. He sighs, as if having come to a conclusion, and opens his eyes. There is a cunning expression on his awful face.
     
    VOLKERPS
    (to Cassandra)
    Ah...yes...just so, my dear and loyal Cassandra. I shrive myself for even doubting your ever-loyalty an instant. Shrive, I tell you! Shrive!
    (beat)
    And you have deliciously surpassed your previous best efforts! These are indeed three diseased souls ripe with corrupt intent.
     
    Cassandra preens, almost kittenish with pleasure at the compliments. She blows him kisses.
     
    CASSANDRA
    You are such a mensch to work