Free Slippage by Harlan Ellison

Horne is my accountant, Arky. She makes a strong case for your continued existence, despite its truly outstanding wretchedness.
     
    ARKY
    Then you believe me!
     
    NINO
    I believe that I believe you believe it.
    (beat)
    I'm intrigued. Had you fabricated a tale of flying saucers and little purple aliens, or of burning bushes with Messianic messages, I could not be more intrigued.
    (beat)
    As the most powerful underworld figure in this great metropolis, I have managed to make cohesive sense of the rackets. Now I grow bored. Ennui fills my days' and nights...
    (smiles at Hazel)
    ...save for the joys of my association with Ms. Horne, of course.
     
    HAZEL
    (beams)
    You little dickens, you.
     
    NINO
    (resumes)
    You've bought yourself a momentary reprieve through dint of sheer imagination, Arky. I won't have Gus and Bork dissect you. Nay, I shall assist you.
    (beat)
    Already I feel heroic.
     
    HAZEL
    Fiscally speaking, Nino, I commend your decision. But operationally. . . ?
     
     
    17 - ANOTHER ANGLE
     
    Nino rises, begins pacing the tiny office. He stops and turns to the still trembling (but bravely smiling) Arky.
     
    NINO
    How did you even go about locating a demon in these conservative climes?
     
    ARKY
    There's this, uh, er, woman I heard about, supposed to have strong in with the netherworld. I visited her a couple of times. She set it up. I think she gets a commission.
     
    NINO
    I suggest we pay her a visit.
    (beat)
    Gus, the car, if you please.
     
    Gus goes, and Nino turns to Hazel. She comes to him, he kisses her in the most husbandly fashion, politely and quickly.
     
    HAZEL
    Try to hurry, dear. We have dinner with the Mayor tonight.
     
    Nino smiles, takes Arky by the arm, and they go as we :
     
    DISSOLVE TO:
     
     
    18 - INT. SHOPPING MALL - ESTABLISHING
     
    A large urban mall, with the usual video rental shops, high end clothing stores filled with yuppie goods, fast food stalls, cosmetics emporia, electronic games shoppes, department store annex, the usual. CAMERA ESTABLISHES then comes in rapidly on the ABSOLUTELY ABRAXAS T-SHIRT SHOPPE, a mall store that is clearly a head shop and t-shirt emporium; as Nino, Gus and Arky enter.
     
     
    19 - INT. ABRAXAS SHOPPE - FULL SHOT
     
    As Gus takes the two browsing customers by the arm, and with his simian bulk chivvies them to the door, and ejects them. He turns a card hanging on the front door to read CLOSED, and then stands with his back to the door, arms folded, as Arky and Nino proceed into the small shop.
    A woman in her late 40s, chewing gum, more than passingly plump, wearing her hair in a technicolor coiffure with a thick clump pulled up at a 45 degree ponytail at the side, wearing a Garfield t-shirt (or similar "cute" item), comes toward them. This is CASSANDRA FISHBEIN, and she is clearly a refugee from the Sixties. Her tie-dyed billowy skirt says so. She isn't happy about their behavior.
     
     
    20 - WITH CASSANDRA
     
    As she storms toward them in a medium-high dudgeon.
     
    CASSANDRA
    Hey, dude, what's the damn idea?
     
    NINO
    (suave)
    You are the impressive Cassandra Fishbein, adept trafficker in the noxious black arts?
     
    CASSANDRA
    T-shirts. I sell t-shirts and equipment for the exotic smoker.
     
    NINO
    Ms. Fishbein, my name is Nino Lancaster. I'm a business associate of Mr. Lochner here. He advises me you served as go-between, amanuensis, amicus curiae for him and a...er... personage named Volkerps.
     
    CASSANDRA
    I'm callin' a cop.
     
    NINO
    Probably not. Very likely in my employ, in any case.
    (beat)
    I ask your assistance voluntarily. Or perhaps I could ask my employee...
    (nods toward the giant, Gus)
    ...Mr. Chaucer, to drop you into the atrium of this excellent mall.
     
    CASSANDRA
    Hey, who the hell are you? I'm just a poor woman tryin' to make a honest buck in a world of yuppies hot for Adidas and VCRs.
     
    NINO
    (equally distraught)
    Say no more, dear lady. I, too, a humble merchant who each day takes his place in the marketplace and