Free Not Looking for Love: Episode 6 (A New Adult Contemporary Romance Novel) by Lena Bourne Page A

days."
    "How long's he been around then?" I ask.
    "Two years, a little more," Greg says. "And now he's so tightly wedged in, I swear he's the first person Vlado thinks of when he wakes up in the morning."
    He laughs as he says it, but it's a cold sound, almost scary.
    "I just wish he'd left me out of it," I mutter, but I'm not sure Greg heard.  
    We're driving now, and I roll my window down, since I still can't shake the nausea. What if I fucked up by leaving? What if Mike hurts Gail now?
    Greg asks where I want to go and I give him my address. He also asks if I want another drink, but I say no, so he drops me off at the sidewalk and speeds off. I just want to go to sleep, pretend none of this shit is my life now, and hope it won't get worse by tomorrow.

"You're making a huge fuss. Just go as friends," Phillipa says for what must be the millionth time. I've been tiring her for hours about whether I should meet Leo for a drink tonight. He sent me a text in the morning already, asking me out. It's two PM now and I still haven't replied. He probably thinks it's a no.  
    "Can't you come too?" I ask.
    Phillipa shakes her head. "Holly wants to meet and talk."
    I gasp, slamming my hand over my mouth. "Really? And you've let me tire you with my problem all day. That's great news!"
    She shrugs and walks over to the sink, rinses off her plate. "Depends on how you look at it. I'm afraid going on this date with her will just open up all the old wounds. Or worse, give me hope."
    I walk over to her and put my arm around her shoulders. "Hope sucks. But only if it's unfounded. Maybe you should give it another chance."
    My own hope is bubbling to the surface like a geyser. I still wake up each morning with Scott and what happened the first thought. Still get butterflies in my stomach when I think of him, which is most of the time. It's been two months. When will it finally get easier? At least the urges to call him only come once every few days now.
    "I should just man up and go, right?" Phillipa asks, rubbing my arm.
    "Yes," I whisper. And I wish I could just call Scott and talk. But I won't willingly reopen that wound. I know where it leads. I will get over him.
    "I'll go out too," I say. "That way we're both moving on.”
    I text Leo back then spend ages picking out what to wear. I want something flattering, but not anything to suggest this is anything but two friends having a drink on a Saturday night.  
    I end up settling on a pair of boot cut slacks, ballet flats, a blouse, and my trench coat. The same one that got drenched in blood on one of those nights I chased after Scott when I shouldn't have. The dry cleaners managed to get most of the stain out, leaving just a faint outline. I'd throw it out, but it's one of the last things Mom bought for me before she got sick, and I couldn't handle parting with it.
    Leo went all out on his outfit. He's wearing suit pants and a jacket, his off white shirt opened just a little too wide at the collar. He even did something to his hair so it looks messy yet neat at the same time. But that's not what gets me.  
    He's wearing the same cologne Scott uses, and the reminder turns my knees to jelly. My need to be meeting Scott tonight, not Leo, rushes to the surface, and I hardly remember to greet him back. He kisses me on both cheeks again, but it barely registers. I want to kiss Scott so badly I can actually taste him on my lips, my whole body flooding with warmth. Why did he have to ruin it all? We were doing so well.  
    "Are you feeling alright?" Leo asks. It's exactly what Scott would say. Because he never did think I was alright. I grasp the spark of anger that thought brings, grip it with my whole mind. Scott cheated on me. Walked out on me in the middle of the night without so much as an explanation. Did it again and again. I will not pine over him anymore.
    "I just got a little dizzy. I haven't eaten much today."
    Which is a lie. I've spent the whole day eating. If I wasn't on my period I'd