Free Not Looking for Love: Episode 6 (A New Adult Contemporary Romance Novel) by Lena Bourne Page B

be sure I was pregnant. And the memory of that drowns the remaining butterflies that rose from smelling Scott's cologne on Leo.
    "Then let's eat," Leo says, and guides me to the Indian restaurant in front of which we met.
    He spends the whole meal looking at me with far too much devotion, and far too little friendship. I know that look now, thanks to Scott, though learning it has brought more pain than anything else. Which is not true. Scott's also shown me how good falling in love can be.  
    I take a long drink of my wine to chase away the thought, and ask Leo a complicated question about his work. He always takes a long time to answer, and loves talking about himself, so it works. Scott didn't talk a lot about himself, which I thought was refreshing at the time. Now it seems he just didn't want me to know him. Or maybe he really was more concerned about me.
    "Do you want to get another drink?" Leo asks once we're done eating and the waiter is clearing our table.  
    "Sure, but let's go somewhere else," I say. Might as well start pretending I'm over Scott, even if I'm not quite there yet.
    Leo takes me to a wine bar I've never been to, orders some Italian wine I've never heard of. It tastes good, even if it is a little too sweet for my taste.  
    Somewhere around my third glass he changes tactic, starts asking me about my life. But I'm not ready to tell him about my mom yet, so I focus on my dad and his new job in Geneva. Which sets Leo off about how the UN is not doing enough to stem human rights violations. Stuff I heard before, but he's bringing my dad into it, and I don't like it.  
    "They're doing as much as can be done," I counter. "Given the flaws in the system. But the intentions are good."
    I can almost hear my dad speaking these words and I've argued the same points with him before, but tonight I'm firmly on Dad's side. Mostly because I had too much to drink, and Leo keeps edging closer to me on the pretext of not hearing me well enough. But I know my voice carries very well, so there's really no reason his whole side should be pressing into me right now.
    "We should go," I say, interrupting him midsentence. "I have a lot of work to do tomorrow."
    I can't have Leo leaning against me, smelling like Scott. It's too confusing. The wine is making me want sex, but with Scott, not Leo, so it's all wrong.  
    He argues, but I call the waitress over and pay, ignoring his protests. I let him buy dinner, because he wouldn't hear a no, so I'm paying for the wine. This isn't a date. This is just two people with common interests sharing a drink.
    I take out my phone to call a cab once we're on the sidewalk. I drove here, but I'm too unsteady to drive back, which is just another way this night has gone all wrong.
    "I can drive you home," Leo offers, but I refuse, saying he had too much to drink too, though he seems quite sober.
    "I had a great time tonight," he says after I order a taxi, looking directly into my eyes and swaying closer. I look down the street, keeping a watch for the cab.  
    "Yeah, it was fun," I mutter, since he's waiting for me to say something.
    "We must do it again."
    I nod. "Sure."
    A taxi rounds the corner and I step closer to the curb. "That's my ride. I'll call you."
    He places his hands on my shoulders and moves to kiss my cheeks. But he doesn't move his head to the side on the second one, and I end up kissing his lips. Such a cheap, childish move.  
    I fight the urge to wipe off my lips. Even though Leo is perfect for me. On paper. But my heart, my mind, my whole being wants Scott so badly now I'm trembling.  
    I say a hasty good night and bolt into the cab, slamming the doors with way too much force. I could just call Scott, tell him how I feel. But then what? He doesn't want insane, flighty Gail. Never did. He doesn't want any Gail at all. Else he'd call me back by now.

I can’t sleep when I get back from Vlado’s dinner party. Every time I close my eyes it's like a million fucking fire ants