Free Semi-Tough by Dan Jenkins Page B

he made us sit down in the den, where we could look at his golf trophies and his stuffed animal heads and his framed letters from various political studs, who thanked him for being for America.
    Big Ed said Big Barb would be home in a minute and then we would all talk about our futures. Big Ed then left us alone in the den. I think he went to phone up Wall Street and sell Libya.
    Barbara Jane said her mother was probably at a meeting of the Daughters of the Intimate Friends of the Dumb-Asses who stayed at the Alamo, or something.
    Shake called his daddy at the store they owned, Tiller Electric, and told him what had happened and where he was.
    I remember that listening to Shake on the phone I got the impression that his daddy didn't think any of it was a very big deal.
    I remember hearing Shake saying, "Yeah, really, Dad. For singing dirty. Yeah, an old song about Mr. Turner. With a bad word or two in it. Yeah. Yeah. No, sir, it was mainly because Barbara Jane was doing it with us and she's a girl and all. Yes, sir. I'll tell her. Him, too. Yes, sir. O.K. Bye."
    I would have called Uncle Kenneth but I knew there weren't any phones on the fifteenth green at Rockwood Muny. Anyhow, he'd have only been interested in whether we would get back in school in time for the dashes and the broad jump.
    Big Barb finally came in wearing big round yellow sunglasses, pants, rings on every finger, her hair pulled straight back like a Flamenco dancer, a short drink in her hand and a long cigarette.
    "Well," she said. "This is certainly a new experience for the Bookman family. I'm so ashamed of you three that I'm actually numb."
    Shake said, "It was my fault, Miz Bookman."
    "Was not," Barbara Jane said.
    Big Ed said that if it hadn't been for him we'd all be out for the semester.
    Shake said he sure did thank Mr. Bookman for saving us, and he mainly wanted to apologize for getting Barbara Jane in trouble.
    I said me too.
    Shake said, "My daddy says he feels real bad about Barbara Jane being involved."
    "Your father's a very nice man," said Big Barb. "I've shopped in his little store many times. I think that fixture in the hallway came from there."
    Shake said it could have.
    Barbara Jane said it probably did.
    I said I didn't know.
    "Is his little store still in the same place, over there by the bridge where the Mexicans have started moving in?" Big Barb asked.
    Barbara Jane said, "Oh, terrific, Mom."
    "Yes, Ma'am," said Shake. "Over there on Nelson Avenue is where it's still at."
    I said that's right. Over on Nelson Avenue.
    Big Barb said, "Barbara, I only meant that the town's changing faster than we can keep up with it."
    "Sure," Barbara Jane said.
    Shake cleared his throat.
    So did I.
    Nobody said anything for a minute or two, and then Big Barb said, "As a matter of fact, I think those two carriage lamps on the front door came from Tiller Electric."
    Might have, said Shake.
    Probably did, I said.
    Barbara Jane sighed and put her elbows on her knees and put her chin in the cups of her hands and closed her eyes.
    Big Ed said, "Uh, honey, these boys and your daughter have promised me that their behavior in the future will be A-O.K. I think these three days out of school will teach them a pretty good lesson."
    "Of course, it will be talked about at River Crest," Big Barb said.
    "I wouldn't worry much about that," said Big Ed.
    "I'm sure you won't," Big Barb said. "You'll be in Houston."
    Big Ed said, "River Crest don't talk about a goddamn thing that I don't tell 'em to talk about, so that's that."
    Big Barb looked away and smoked.
    Shake and me glanced at each other and Barbara Jane blinked.
    Big Ed said, "This isn't exactly the end of the goddamn world. It isn't anything that intelligent white people can't handle."
    Barbara Jane said, "I wonder how unintelligent black people handle it."
    "What's that supposed to mean?" said Big Ed.
    "I was just thinking out loud," Barbara Jane said.
    "That wasn't very funny, Barbara," said Big Barb.
    Me and