Free A Vintage Christmas by Ali Harris

because my career is still a baby! You know how miserable I was stuck in the stockroom! I love you and Sophie and you’re more important to me than anything, but I need you to know that I’m not going to change.’
    ‘I understand,’ Sam says and for a moment I think I’ve made him see my point of view. ‘Are you still going to Tetbury?’ he asks quietly.
    I nod, without looking at him.
    ‘Fine,’ he says evenly. ‘I’ll be back in a few days but only briefly. Sophie’s going to be staying with Ella for the next few weeks leading up to Christmas as I have so many shoots coming up.’
    I try to think quickly, panicking that we won’t have any quality time together for so long. ‘Ok, well maybe I can call Maria and see if we can postpone the dinner?’ I offer. ‘I’m sure she won’t mind. Although,’ I add, rubbing my forehead, ‘I’ve just remembered that I offered to pick up Gabe Junior from school for them so they could carry on working through the afternoon...’
    Sam smiles wryly. ‘Adopted babysitter too, are we?’
    ‘You know I love kids. And I like to help people as much as I can,’ I reply defensively.
    ‘It was a joke, Evie.’ He drops a kiss on my forehead, similar to the one he gave Soph. If it’s meant to make me feel better, it doesn’t. I don’t even know when he’s serious any more. ‘I know you like helping. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.’
    ‘I really won’t go if it means missing seeing you and Soph off properly though,’ I look up and kiss him, trying to swallow back my sorrow. As our lips part I see his eyebrows pull together, there’s a flicker of something undistinguishable across his face and I feel sick. For the first time in ages, I can’t work out what he’s thinking, a thought which sends a cold wave of fear down my body. Is this what happens when a relationship is breaking down? You stop hearing and understanding each other? You stop knowing what the other is thinking? What they’re doing?
    I bite my lip and grip his hand tightly. I feel terrible that I forgot he had so many foreign shoots coming up and that Sophie will be away. It’s going to feel so weird without them here. Lily’s right, I am letting work consume me. I vow to make it up to Sam and Sophie – just as soon as this launch is over.
    ‘I love you Sam,’ I say as I kiss him again. ‘I know things have to change – and I promise, they will.’
    ‘I hope so Evie,’ he’d replied.
    It was a comment that didn’t fill me with the greatest of confidence. It’s also a comment I’ve dissected over and over in my mind ever since he left, analysing each word individually and putting it back together, until I get a frustrating final diagnosis of: Intention Unknown. That, coupled with his throwaway comment ‘It’s why I fell in love with you’ (past tense, not why I’m in love with you) has been enough to drive me mad.
    Only David’s shoe collection has kept me on the straight and narrow while Sam’s been gone. But I’ve still had a few wobbles and come very close to sending various needy text messages of the ‘I love you, don’t leave me!’ variety. ‘I’m sorry for being a terrible girlfriend!’ You know the sort of thing. But everyone knows women should always refrain from texting their actual feelings in situations like this. Instead I’ve kept it light whilst torturing myself with thoughts of him, thinking about all the Brazilian beach babes he will have met and imagining him playing volleyball with Gisele look-a-likes.
    Luckily, Sam is back tomorrow – albeit fleetingly – and today is the final time I see David before he brings the collection up to Hardy’s next month, ready for the big unveiling.
    I press the buzzer and wait outside the door. Sunshine is flooding the shop-front which looks so much better now that the windows have been cleaned and the cobwebs and sand bags have gone.
    David opens the door with a bright smile and waves me in. ‘Come in