Free Amos Gets Married by Gary Paulsen

Duncan—Dunc—Culpepper sat on the ground in his front yard with his back against the porch. He was watching his best friend for life, Amos Binder, pace up and down the sidewalk.
    “The school nurse said Melissa would be okay, Amos.”
    “I know what she said, but did you see the size of that goose egg on her forehead?”
    “It’ll go down. How did it happen, anyway?”
    Amos stopped pacing and dropped to the ground beside him. “I was on my way to science class. Mrs. Leach said we were going to be dissecting earthworms, and I was thinkingabout all those poor little worms that were about to lose their lives.”
    “What do earthworms have to do with you knocking down Melissa Hansen?”
    “Don’t you ever wonder about some of the defenseless creatures we slice up in science lab? You know, like does it hurt and stuff?”
    “Amos.”
    “Some of those worms could have families. We could be chopping up someone’s mother or grandmother, or—”
    “Amos! What happened to Melissa?”
    “Like I said. I was thinking about the worms when I heard the pay phone ring outside the nurse’s office.”
    “So?”
    “So I figured since Melissa knows I have to pass the nurse’s office on my way to science class, she was calling to talk to me. She probably wanted to see how my day was going and talk about the worms and things like that.”
    Dunc nodded. He knew Amos was crazy in love with Melissa Hansen and that he had this strange idea she might actually call him someday. She had never called himin her entire life and gave no indication that she ever would. In fact, Melissa gave no indication that she knew Amos existed as a life-form. But that didn’t stop Amos from hoping.
    “Anyway,” Amos continued, “I was in a real hurry to get to the phone, on account of she likes me to get it on that all-important first ring and everything. So I crawled up on Jerk Jergin’s back and yelled for everybody to make way. I knew they would move because Jerk’s a pretty good-sized kid.”
    Dunc nodded again. “He should be. He’s been in the same grade for the last six years. I heard a rumor that he has a wife, two kids, and an after-school job at the steel mill.”
    “That’s why I chose him,” Amos said. “But it didn’t quite work the way I planned.”
    “What happened?”
    “I think I must have caught Jerk a little off guard. He pulled me up over the top of his head and wadded me up into a ball. Then he sort of punted me to the end of the hall. That’s when I hit Melissa. It wasn’t her on the phone after all.” Amos stood upand started pacing again. “It was awful. I slammed her face into a bank of lockers. She’ll probably never forgive me.”
    “Try not to worry, Amos. The nurse said Melissa was unconscious for a few minutes and doesn’t remember anything that happened.”
    “Somebody is bound to tell her, and then she’ll probably want to cancel our date.”
    “Amos, you know you don’t have a date with Melissa.”
    “I don’t yet. But I was planning on asking her to the Winter Harvest Dance.”
    “Amos, it’s spring. Early spring. The Winter Harvest Dance isn’t until next year.”
    “I know, but I wanted to give her plenty of time to think about it.”
    Dunc stood and stretched. “I better get started on my homework.” He picked up the newspaper on his way into the house.
    Amos followed him. The screen door banged shut behind him. “You can’t do homework now! I’m having a crisis!”
    Dunc headed for the kitchen. “I’m having a peanut butter and jelly.”
    “How can you eat or do homework at a time like this?”
    Dunc carefully wiped the peanut butter off the knife, rinsed it, and put it away. “The way I see it, you really don’t have a problem.”
    Amos stared at him. “No problem? Melissa may never speak to me again.”
    “That’s what I mean. She’s never spoken to you before, so you haven’t lost anything.”
    Amos sighed. “Maybe I should go over and apologize.”
    Dunc shook his