Free 3volve by Josefina Gutierrez

him.
    “So, you’re not going to tell Aunt Nani to take us or something?”
    “No.” I shake my head. “Why would you think that?”
    “You’re stuck here, instead of out there,” he says. The hurt hits me.
    “Come here,” I grab his hand. “I didn’t mean what I said. Okay? Let’s go check on our brother, together.”
    I open the door, leading Jeremiah through with me. Jeremy looks up at us from the floor, eyes red around the edges, cheeks puffed out. I soften at his tears.
    I’m back to when he was four and scabbed his knee when he fell of his bike. Suddenly, I realize I’m the big sister who said Mom’s kisses would make it feel better. Her kisses can’t make this hurt feel better, not anymore.
    I sit down next to him, patting the floor for Jeremiah to sit down too. “I know I’m not Mom. And I will never replace her. But I love you. I’m sorry that I yelled; I didn’t mean it,” I tell him.
    “Whatever.”
    “I know you didn’t ask for this—for me. I don’t know what I’m doing here. But there’s nowhere else I would rather be than with my little germs.” I put my arms around them both and they don’t shirk away. “I’m not going anywhere. Tell me what’s going on. Talk to me,” I insist.
    Jeremy wipes his tears on his shirt. Reaching into his backpack, he pulls out a letter. “I was supposed to give this to you last week, but I couldn’t.” I open the envelope to find Jeremy faces suspension from the team because of his grades.
                  We lean back against the bed frame, the letter open by my feet. I’m not angry or disappointed anymore.
    Charlie was right. Sure, he didn’t come out and say it, but I was only thinking of myself. Much like Jeremiah, who really did come out and tell me I was selfish. I didn’t have their best interests in mind or even stop to think how it might be for them. I figured they were processing everything in their own time and on their own…but they weren’t. Oh boy.
     
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                 
    The next morning I wake up to the pounding in my head and the crick in my neck. Sleeping on the floor of my little brother’s room was probably not the best idea I’ve had. Jeremy and Jeremiah are sprawled out on either side of me, pillows covering their faces from the sun. I slowly get up and walk over them to open the door.
                  It’s still early. I wonder if Charlie is awake yet. I sneak into my bedroom and see him asleep under the covers. Papers are scattered around the bed and floor, hanging out of manila folders up against his open briefcase.
                   I wonder what he has been working on. My curiosity gets the best of me, and I stoop over papers scattered along the floor. I see my name scrawled along the top of a set in the closest folder. What the heck? Before I can reach down and pick it up, Charlie stirs awake.
    “Oh hey,” he grumbles.             
                  “What is all this?” I ask, still eyeing the folder.
                  Charlie shrugs, “Just some work stuff.”
                  “But why is my name on those papers?” I point at them.
                  “Would you believe a coincidence?” He rolls his head and shoulders in a slow motion to adjust to an upright position. I feel sorry for him. My bed wasn’t made for grown males; heck, it barely holds my slender body comfortably.
                  “No.”
    “Ah, well then, there you go,” he sighs, getting up and stretching out his arms. “It’s nothing to be curious about. Don’t you trust me?” he asks, picking up all the papers and folders, then filing and locking them away in his briefcase.
    Trust goes both ways—he’s the one locking things away from me.
    “I would if I didn’t know you were keeping something from me. And I know you’re keeping something from me.”
    Charlie lays the briefcase against the nightstand.