Free Raining In My Heart (Book One of the McKay's) by Rita Hestand Page A

face. " I took one look at that kid and knew she was kin to me. I just thought…well, I thought it was Wade 's daughter. I thought I was her Uncle, and proud of it, but I never dreamed I was the daddy. When Wade didn't say anything, didn't acknowledge her, I asked questions and got some answers that floored me. I still don't know what to say, how to react to all this. You could have prepared me a little Julie . "
    Julie swallowed hard. She sat down at the table and fumbled with her mug of coffee , her thumb absently stroking the handle .
    And as though it just dawned on him, Cade lowered himself in a chair on the other side of the table . "That's why you never came back. You didn't want to tell me…did you?"
    Julie glanced up and saw the hurt in Cade's expression, the storm still unsettling inside him. " I guess that's part of it. But…i t's not as simple as that, and you are bound to figure that out. I'm sorry…really I am. But…you just don't understand. Please listen to me, Cade. "
    Cade looked at her and looked away . "Oh yes I do understand . You were in love with Wade , not me. You had the wrong man that night. You wanted it to be his. I understand that. I understand that real well. But you've robbed me now, robbed me of my little girl. And you've robbed her of a father who would have loved her… been there for her. She thinks I didn't care all these years. That I didn't love her. God… Julie …she thinks…God knows what she thinks. "
    Julie 's eyes widened. In all the time she'd known Cade she'd never seen him so serious. The fact that he was hurt made Julie instantly rethink the situation. Guilt fed her inner most fears now. " I never realized how you might feel , either . I never looked at it that way, Cade . I'm truly sorry if I misjudged the situation. I thought I was doing the best for everyone concerned. It was only one time, there were no words of love between us. Not really. I didn't want you to have to be involved. It wouldn't have been fair back then to tell you, you had a life to live. "
    Cade stared at her then slammed his hand on the table, making another napkin bounce into the air.
    " Involved, being her father makes me involved, Julie . There wasn't a crowd that night in the barn , it was you and me. " He came to stand beside her, and pulled her to her feet. Staring deep into his eyes , Julie gulped. " Not even Wade was there. And there was more than just lust involved , I thought you knew tha t, sensed it. I thought a girl could tell when a man makes love to her . We didn't just have sex, we made love. My God, Julie , we made love all night, not just once, but… Maybe you were too young to realize that, but it's true. I knew what I was doing. But then I guess y ou couldn't tell the difference, s ince I was your first. "
    "And the last…" Julie whispered.
    Cade gasp ed ; another surprise!
    "In my own defense Cade … " Julie looked down, afraid to meet his gaze. " I was young and vulnerable too. I didn't want to put something on you just because I made a mistake. And that night…was all my mistake. I realized that. You were so gentle with me, so tender. But then when I found out I was expecting…well, I thought I could love her enough for both of us. You didn't deserve instant fatherhood. My own father would have made us get married, I know that. That's partly why I ran away so soon afterward. I thought I was doing you a favor. I truly did. You had a good position here, m y father might have fired you, had he known. I had to leave, don't you see? I didn't mean you harm. Or to hurt you. But…now I see where I messed up , and I don't know how to rectify it. I wasn't looking at the whole picture , " Julie burst out. "For you or for her."
    "Our being together that night was a mistake…" she admitted.
    "Well now . " H is voice deepened as he stared down at her. "That's priceless."
    His fingers gently reached to trace her lips. Julie didn't move ; her eyes slowly met his . The same crazy feelings