Free My Dating Disasters Diary by Liz Rettig Page A

Liz. I'll be right there with the money. No
problem.'
    I put down the phone. Bloody hell. Why had I said
that? I suppose I just wanted to sound reassuring but
where would I get thirty-six pounds? I checked my purse
and turned out my pockets. Four pounds and seventyfive
pence. So, just thirty-one pounds and twenty-five
pence to go. Feverishly I checked down all the cushions
and under the bed. Another three pounds twenty-two
pence. Also ten euros and twenty-nine cents. Just a pity
Britain hadn't joined yet.
    So, just another . . . well, a lot to go. Wish I'd paid more
attention at mental arithmetic. Also I'd have to subtract
my bus fare into town. Bollocks. I'd have to call Liz's
parents after all. Or my own. Oh God. Wish I'd someone
else I could ask for lots of money.
    But I had. Chris. A good pair of football boots would
cost over thirty pounds easily. Yeah, that was it. I'd ask
Chris. He would be sure to help. Only thing was, Liz had
sworn me to secrecy about her date with Peter, and anyway
I knew she wouldn't want anyone to know how he'd
humiliated her. Not even Chris.
    I picked up the phone and dialled. 'Chris, don't ask
why, I can't tell you, but I need money right now . . .
about, um, thirty pounds – well, maybe just a bit less, I
haven't worked it out yet. Can you come over right away
with it please ? It's a matter of life and death – well, not
quite, but very, very important, though I can't tell you
why as I'm sworn to secrecy. All I can say is I
desperately—'
    Chris said, 'OK.'
    'OK?' I said, relieved.
    'I'll be over right away.'
    Oh God, how I love Chris at times like this. He's just
the best friend a person could ever have.
    In ten minutes Chris was over and had handed me the
thirty pounds. He didn't ask me any questions as I knew
he wouldn't (sometimes it's so nice having an un-nosy
friend) but looked worried. I shooed him away with a
quick 'Thanks, Chris. Sorry about the football boots. I'll
get this back to you soon as. Trust me.'
    As soon as he was out of sight I checked my watch. Ten
fifteen. Should be able to make it there and back before
eleven if I hurried. I grabbed my coat and ran for the bus
into town.
    When I got to the restaurant, I found Liz in the hall by
the kitchen, being guarded by a snooty waitress and a
scary-looking guy with tattoos on his arms, which were
folded over his chest and resting on his beer gut. After I'd
paid the bill they released her.
    On the way back to my house Liz fumed about Peter
the whole time. Apparently, not sure what to order at
first, she had looked at the menu and said, 'Oh, Peter,
everything seems so expensive.'
    He'd smiled and said, 'Hey, special occasion. Our first
meal out together. Go mental.'
    So she'd ordered everything and had had a great time until
    the bill-paying stage when Peter had made it clear he was expecting Liz to
    pay for her share, put £30 on the dish (£3 less than his own bill
    when the service charge was added) and buggered off, leaving Liz with the
    rest.
     
    Once Liz and I got back home I called Chris and assured
him I'd repay his loan soon (Liz had told me it would take
three weeks of her allowance to pay him off). He said not
to worry, and whenever, although I know he really needs
new boots as his old ones are totally done.
    Eventually I went off to sleep thinking about Liz and
her horrible date. Have come to the conclusion all guys
are totally selfish, mean and useless. Maybe it's as well I
don't have a boyfriend after all. Not that anyone seems to
want me.

THURSDAY APRIL 1ST
    April fool's day. This time I am not going to get caught
out like all the other times. So if anyone tells me that there
are pink daffodils in the park, chocolate-flavoured
chicken nuggets on the school dinner menu or that eating
twelve melons a day makes your boobs grow (I can't
stand melons now), then I will so not believe them.
    It's only ten o'clock and already I've been told that
hidden CCTV cameras have been installed in the cubicles
of the girls'