the yard. He kept it by his bed at night. It was like his pants and underwear, he felt utterly naked without it. And it didn’t just ring with an emergency every once in awhile. It rang every day. Sometimes every hour. Nothing was as demanding as the job he held now; not flying fighters, not commanding a combat wing, not masterminding an air war—nothing compared with the pressures he dealt with daily. Eighty-hour workweeks were the norm. He was exhausted all the time. He knew his family was suffering. Surely his sons resent it! How could they not? But he didn’t know what to do.
His only comfort, his only consolation at all, was that his wife had assured him that he was doing what he was supposed to do. “ Don’t worry about me. I’ll take care of things at home. What you’re doing is important. I think it is part of the reason you were brought into the world. Besides, someone’s got to do it. And I really believe that no one else will do it as well as you .” Sara had written the words of encouragement on a yellow slip of paper and tucked it in his uniform pocket one morning several months before. After reading the note, he had folded it up and kept it in his wallet. He was certain she didn’t even remember writing it, but during the most difficult times he found himself pulling out the wrinkled slip of paper and reading her words again.
He stretched, feeling the stiff fabric and the pressure of all the ribbon bars on his chest. He missed wearing his flight suits, they were much more comfortable, and he certainly missed flying, especially after days like today. His morning had started with a private meeting with his boss, the national security advisor, after which he had suffered through no less than 14 appointments, then ended with a reception at the Libyan Embassy, a typically stuffy and formal affair, the kind his wife enjoyed and he absolutely despised.
Then he remembered how beautiful Sara had looked in her black dress and suddenly the evening didn’t seem like such a waste. “ Sara, oh Sara ,” he thought to himself, “ when I asked you to marry me, did you know I would drag you from one corner of the world to the next? Did you envision the challenges of the life we would choose? ”
He wondered, supposing not. It had been a wonderful journey, but not without cost.
“Sometime soon,” he frequently promised himself, “things are going to change. Life will slow down.”
The general breathed deeply, knowing it probably wasn’t true.
He glanced at the clock again, then turned to check the wall safe and security system before turning off the lights. He had to get up in five hours and it was time to get some sleep.
As he was reaching for his bedroom doorknob, his secure cell phone started ringing, stopping him in his tracks. “Please go away!” he mumbled. “It’s late. I am tired. Let it wait until morning.”
But the STU-IV secure cell phone continued ringing and he turned to pick it up, noticing on the digital screen that the call was coming from the CIA. “Yes,” he said as he put the phone to his ear, the delay from the encryption providing a noticeable delay.
“Sorry to bother you, boss.” Brighton recognized the voice of a junior member of the security team. “Colonel Jensen and the night watch have a little problem with the PDB.”
Brighton shook his head. The Presidential Daily Brief. Every morning at the White House. The president attended. No screw-ups were allowed. None. No forgiveness. Another beast that had stolen his life away.
“Do we need to take care of it tonight?” he asked, trying to keep the impatience from his voice.
“The watch supervisor said it can wait until morning, but they need you in by four.”
“OK. I’ll be there.” He glanced at his watch. Then he remembered. “No, no, I almost forgot. I’m leaving for Saudi Arabia day after tomorrow. I’ve got briefings with the guys at the Pentagon in the morning to wrap up a couple things before I go.