Free Internal Affair by Samantha Cayto Page B

while still holding her briefcase and purse. She jumped at the sound of his voice and shuddered at the feel of his hands on her shoulders. “Sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
    Without looking over her shoulder, Parker said, “Startle is hardly the word. Disturb is more like it.” What a moronic thing to confess. The words were already out of her mouth, however. The only thing left to do was flee.
    Daire leaned against the door as soon as it shut behind Parker. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the door’s window and forced deep, even breaths into his lungs. A tremor ran through his body, testament to the strain he’d been under during Parker’s mercifully short visit. His dick throbbed painfully, and he resisted the urge to even glance at it. So long as he didn’t see it, he could pretend that Parker hadn’t either.
    After a few seconds, he calmed enough to return to the table and clear it. There was a lot of food left. The frugal part of him, honed over the years in which he’d had to squeeze every penny like a miser, insisted he pack all of it into the refrigerator to save for the next night’s dinner. Then he did the dishes, again falling back on habits developed after his parents’ deaths. It had been too easy for three young males to leave dirty dishes piled high. He’d forced them all into some rigid habits to keep the entropy at bay. Even now, when he could cut loose a bit, he kept to the behavior. The sad truth was, if he didn’t, he worried that loneliness and grief would overwhelm him. That concern was especially relevant tonight when the murders sat fresh in his mind.
    His erection barely flagged with the monotony of his task. A scent lingered in his home, a light, floral perfume that had come in from the cold with Parker and stayed to tease him. As did the memory of her deep brown eyes boring into him. Christ, when she’d leaned over, he could have sworn she intended to kiss him. An absurd notion given they were practically strangers and definitely colleagues working a case. Totally inappropriate. And yet all he could think as she got closer and closer was “yes, please.”
    He leaned against the kitchen counter and cupped his cock and balls. Even through the fabric of his pants, they felt hot and heavy. There was only one possible way for this evening to end, and fighting it wouldn’t grant him a better night’s sleep. He performed his nightly check of the downstairs perimeter, set the house alarm and trudged his way up the stairs and into the bathroom. As he stripped down for a shower, he told himself he should pull out one of his classic fantasy women to jerk off to. Parker deserved more respect than to play a feature role in his self-gratification. He fought the brief, losing battle, finally accepting the fact that his mind and body wanted this one very real woman.
    The old shower was cramped, but he could stand under the spray for as long as the water heater held out. He still appreciated how he didn’t have to share something as basic as hot water anymore now that he lived alone. He really should remodel the whole bathroom, too, given his bank account contained a healthy cushion. All things considered, being a single man for the first time in his adult life was something to be savored.
    So why did he feel almost bereft? Was this what empty-nesters went through? Ridiculous. He wasn’t some middle-aged man, missing his grown children. He’d barely started living his life. He’d marry someday and have his own children. This house would be filled with that new family. He just had to meet the right woman.
    Parker’s exquisite face loomed large in his mind. Of course, the one woman he wanted was the one he couldn’t have. Why the fuck not? His lizard brain screamed it at him. His dick echoed the sentiment. The why nots were too obvious and too tiresome to repeat even to himself. Besides, he could have her here where he stood alone and