Free The Search for Justice by Robert L Shapiro

always have
     and I always will. If we had a problem, it ’s because I loved her so much
.
    Recently we came to the understanding that for now we were not right for each other, at least for now. Despite our love we
     were different and that ’s why we mutually agreed to go our separate ways. It was tough splitting for a second time but we
     both knew it was for the best
.
    Inside I had no doubt that in the future we would be close friends or more. Unlike what has been written in the press, Nicole
     and I had a great relationship for most of our lives together. Like all long-term relationships, we had a few downs and ups.
     I took the heat New Year ’s 1989 because that ’s what I was supposed to do. I did not plead no contest for any other reason
     but to protect our privacy and was advised it would end the press hype
.
    I don ’t want to belabor knocking the press, but I can ’t believewhat is being said. Most of it is totally made up. I know you have a job to do, but as a last wish, please, please, please,
     leave my children in peace. Their lives will be tough enough
.
    I want to send my love and thanks to all my friends. I ’m sorry I can ’t name every one of you. Especially A.C., man thanks
     for being in my life. The support and friendship I received from so many, Wayne Hughes, Louis Marks, Frank Olsen, Mark Packer,
     Bender, Bobby Kardashian
.
    I wish we had spent more time together in recent years. My golfing buddies, Haas, Alan Austin, Mike, Craig, Bender, Wiler,
     Sandy, Jay, Donnie, thanks for all the fun. All my teammates over the years. Reggie, you were the soul of my pro career; Ahmad,
     I never stopped being proud of you; Marcus, you got a great lady in Catherine, don ’t mess it up. Bobby Chandler, thanks for
     always being there. Skip and Cathy, I love you guys, without you I never would have made it through this far. Marguerite,
     thanks for the early years. We had some fun. Paula, what can I say? You are special. I ’m sorry I ’m not going to—we ’re not
     going to have our chance. God brought you to me, I now see as I leave you ’ll be in my thoughts
.
    I think of my life and feel I ’ve done most of the right things, so why do I end up like this. I can ’t go on. No matter what
     the outcome people will look and point. I can ’t take that. I can ’t subject my children to that. This way they can move on
     and go on with their lives. Please, if I ’ve done anything worthwhile in my life, let my kids live in peace from you, the
     press
.
    I ’ve had a good life. I ’m proud of how I lived. My mama taught me to do unto others. I treated people the way I wanted to
     be treated. I ’ve always tried to be up and helpful. So why is this happening? I ’m sorry for the Goldman family. I know how
     much it hurts
.
    Nicole and I had a good life together. All this press talk about a rocky relationship was no more than what every long-term
     relationship experiences. All her friends will confirm that I have been totally loving and understanding of what she ’s been
     going through. At times I have felt like a battered husband or boyfriend but I loved her. And I would take whatever it took
     to make it work
.
    Don ’t feel sorry for me. I ’ve had a great life, great friends. Please think of the real O.J. and not this lost person
.
    Thanks for making my life special. I hope I helped yours
.
    Peace and love, O.J
.
    In a gesture that seemed oddly childlike, he had drawn a smiley face inside the
O
. Stunned, I looked at Dr. Faerstein. “What do you think this means?” I asked, almost not wanting to hear his answer. He just
     shook his head. I don ’t think there was anyone in that room who didn ’t believe, at that moment, that O.J. had gone off to
     kill himself.
    It was now nearly two—and the police declared the Kardashian house a crime scene. They detained all of us under house arrest
     and took a statement from every person. As the long afternoon wore on, the tension and fear factor