Free In This Life by Christine Brae Page A

at him. His eyes were filled with consolation.
    “I know. It’s okay.” He lightly brushed his thumbs across my cheeks to wipe away my tears before settling my head in the crook of his neck.The silence of the night was louder than it had ever been, and I could hear the thunder in the background; the impending storm had finally arrived.
    He stood up slowly and bent down to scoop me in his arms, lifting me up to carry me. “I’ll take you home. You need to rest. You’re going on a long trip tomorrow.”
    “No, please. I want to stay with you. Can you please let Dante know? Let him know I’m with you so he won’t worry.” My voice vibrated through his skin, and I inhaled the sweet, intoxicating smell of sweat and saltwater. I couldn’t bear to think that after tomorrow, my life would go on without him in it.
    He nodded and used one hand to punch in a text message on his phone, the other arm still holding me up with ease, refusing to let me go. He took a few slow steps towards our make believe palace, the wooden hut at the end of the world, high above the water, almost touching the clouds. The sound of his flip-flops dredging through the sand ended at the bottom of the ladder. We’d been here many times before, but that night was different. We knew that nothing between us would ever be the same again. I kept my head buried in his neck and I heard a loud, resolute breath before he climbed the stairs with me held tight in his arms.
    “Hi,” he whispered as we stood right at the top of the landing, overlooking our made up kingdom.
    “Hi,” I answered, lifting my head up and wrapping my arms around his neck at the same time.
    “Blue, there’s so much I want to tell you. I don’t know where to begin. I need you to know—”
    “Shhh.” I traced my finger along the outline of his lips. “Words don’t matter now. It’s too late for words.”
    He nodded his head with a sad smile, while lowering me and resting my head carefully on the floor.
    “Jude,” I breathed. “I need to feel… Please, make me feel loved.”
    He moved his body next to mine, trailing his fingers down from my face to my neck and slowly slipping his hand underneath my shirt. I took in a deep breath before closing my eyes and enjoying the feeling of his skin against mine. Never had I ever felt so connected to anyone in my life. He kissed me, softly at first, allowing all that pent up energy between us to possess his hands as they roamed all over my body. He began to worship my lips, reverently tracing every inch of it with his tongue. And then he stopped, searching my face for approval. We were crossing the line and there was no turning back. I nodded my head and raised my arms above my head.
    He responded by lifting up my shirt, exposing me completely, and then by covering every part of me with his mouth. His touch vibrated through my skin, it scorched my pain away. It was soothing, arousing, assuring. Like a powerful ray of light that erased all the blemishes in my life.
    “My God, Blue, you are so beautiful.” He traced his lips downward from my breasts to my stomach and down to the red birthmark on the inside of my thigh. “I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.”
    In that instance I was sure that I had realized my fate: it was to lose myself to someone who I would never see again.
    “Jude!” I cried out as he buried himself inside me. How on earth did I survive so long without this? He stretched me, he pervaded me, but most importantly, he filled my heart.
    “Tell me. Tell me this is different. Tell me this is special,” he ordered.
    “It is,” I said with a moan as he pushed faster and faster. “Never, never like this.”
    “You feel like home, Anna,” he groaned, resting his arms directly above my shoulders and holding my head in place. He continued forcefully, rhythmically, and we moved together, our bodies molding perfectly in a choreographed performance. We were made for each other and the many movements in