Free The Dark Lady by Louis Auchincloss, Thomas Auchincloss

could support herself. You know that. But there are still such problems.
And
such remedies. Becque is not as far back as the Dark Ages. Besides, it's a wonderful part. Marie is cold, still, even a trifle grim."
    "Is that how you see me?"
    "Don't be coy, dear. That is how an actress of your stature would play her. And yet at the same time convey a sense of the ache and passion within."
    "Does Marie have a lover she gives up for the vulture?"
    "No, she has nothing. Nothing, that is, but a whole inner life throbbing with thwarted emotion. That is why it is such a rich part. I see Marie in mourning, in simple black, very pale, businesslike, tense, allowing the family sympathy to be lavished on her giddy younger sister, not caring if people think she's giving up nothing because they find her cold, yet all the while feeling a burning pain at the senseless cruelty of the world, at the bleak smothering of her natural ardor..."
    "Why, Irving, you should have been an actor yourself!"
    "Oh, my dear, as a young man, I had many ambitions. I wanted to be an opera singer. A pianist. A poet. My father was a clever man as well as a humane one. He humored me in all my dreams. And when I began to realize the paucity of my histrionic and artistic talents, he eased me into the ancient compromise of law. I believe that all the while he knew that I would one day come back to his banking business."
    "But you don't regret that, do you? Aren't you happy, being rich and important, buying beautiful things and..."
    "Trying to buy beautiful people?" he interrupted with a chuckle. "Is that where you come out, Elesina?"
    "We'll get to that later. Answer my question first. Do you regret your banking career?"
    "Yes and no." Irving took a sip of white wine, almost as if it were a medicine. Certainly he was not a drinker. He coughed and fixed his eyes glassily at a point across the room. "I once told a young man in our office that the person whose career I most coveted was Judge Learned B. Hand, my old Harvard Law School classmate. He is now the great legal philosopher of the second federal circuit, and would have been, but for our New Deal president—you needn't rise—the greatest luminary of the Supreme Court today. Well, it so happened, unbeknownst to me, that this same young man was related to the judge, and the next time he dined there, he was careful to relay my compliment. "B" Hand pounded angrily on the table and roared out: 'Irving Stein envies me my career, does he? Did he tell you that, as he strutted before his Rembrandts? Or as he sank, knee-deep, in Persian carpet? Well, go back to Irving Stein and tell the old robber I'd give my career for a paltry one of his millions!'"
    Irving hit the table as he simulated the angry, self-dramatizing jurist. Elesina smiled. "I like that," she said. "I think I'd like Judge Hand."
    "Of course, he didn't mean it. At least not all of it. It goes to show that only a fool is satisfied that he's led just the life he should have led. How do we know? As you say, I've been able to buy beautiful things, and that is a solace. And now I can produce a beautiful play. That is another."
    "But you need solace?"
    "Who doesn't? I hate
not
having done so many things. And I hate growing old."
    "Oh, Irving, you're not really..."
    "Don't say it, dear." He put his hand over hers, and gave it a squeeze. But it was a friendly, almost fraternal squeeze. The acceptance of it committed her to nothing. "Let us think about the part. Does it attract you?"
    "I don't know." She paused. "Of course, I'm immensely flattered that you think I can do it. Obviously, it's a very difficult one."
    "It's a challenge. But you deserve a challenge."
    "Is it just a challenge?" She was a bit ashamed of the arch that she felt it was now time for her eyebrows to assume.
    "What do you mean?"
    "Well, isn't it taken for granted, in sophisticated circles, that wealthy bankers don't invest in plays for actresses without a certain recompense in mind?"
    Irving