Russ uses the gurney to clear our path, and I miraculously trip over the bloody towel rail and scoop it up for future use. As we reach the control room, the door is already open and Pete is standing there. They must have been watching the whole thing on the screen, but I’m still impressed he got past Alice’s inevitable objections to open up and let us in.
“We can get out into the courtyard,” shouts Russ. “There’s a ladder to the roof.”
“I want my sweatpants.” Alice is perched on the desk, her T-shirt poking below her hoodie and stretched out of all proportion to cover her modesty.
“Jeez, Alice, there’s no time!” I shout.
“Not moving until you give them to me!” she cries and thumps the desk with both fists.
“Do it!” Pete shouts at me.
“Are you both frickin’ crazy?” But I’m already struggling out of them, because I already know the answer to my question. The bottoms catch on my boots, and I am hopping around trying to pull the damn peach fluffies off. It’s OK, though, because at this rate the zombies will probably kill themselves laughing at this performance. “Thanks for the loan, lady.” Finally I win the battle and I fling them at Alice, who dons them in record time.
“Hitch a ride!” Russ is patting the gurney, and we load ourselves onto it — me on the front, then Pete and Alice, squealing. Russ is behind, pushing us off, running until we’ve built up enough speed. And then he leaps on, too, and we’re flying, screeching, the wind whipping over my bald head, a little part of me enjoying it as the gurney flies down the corridor again. As we come level with the door to the courtyard, Russ jumps down and acts as a human brake, the front of the gurney swinging from left to right as we skid to a stop.
“Aargh!” Alice flies off the side and splays out onto the floor at the feet of a boy Undead, who makes a move on her. As tempted as I am to leave her, I raise a leg and boot the zom in the head. As I reach down to give her a hand, she screws up her face in distaste.
“Do me a favor? Cut out the high kicks until you’ve found some pants.”
I pull her to her feet, unnecessarily roughly. “You’d like me to leave you to be eaten?”
There’s a furious roar, but it’s not Alice. Undead Seniors have arrived. We’ve been playing tag with the kids long enough. The big guys are here, and it’s time to go.
We run to the door just as Russ opens it and bust out into the courtyard. The door is slammed shut and Russ wedges the fire extinguisher against it. I guess it’s not the easiest weapon to tote around, especially when you’re scaling buildings. The hotness hits me again as I scan around just to make sure no little monsters have slipped out while we were otherwise occupied — or whether there are any other survivors — but we’re alone. For now.
“God! God! God!” screams Alice. “Get it off me!”
I turn expecting to see a zom clinging to her leg. She has a large spotted butterfly sitting on her outstretched hand, fluttering its wings prettily. Alice flaps her hand back at it, not quite daring to touch.
“Die!” Russ splats it with his fist. Wow . Alice gives a yell, and the poor butterfly gives a flutter and falls to the ground, broken. Russ’s eyes blaze. I guess he really hates insects.
“The ladder!” Pete cries, pointing to the corner.
“It’s so high,” Alice gasps.
“It’s leading to the roof, what did you expect?” I mutter.
Russ grabs her hand and squeezes it. “We can make it, Alice.”
She doesn’t look so sure, but I’m guessing the combo of imminent zoms and a leg up from Russ will be enough for her to give it a shot.
I reach the bottom of the ladder first, seizing the sides and pulling myself up before my foot has even found the first rung. The metal is sosharp it feels like it’s cutting into my hands. I wish I’d taken those gloves now — but then again, as I ascend and realize the world has a great view of my ass, I
Legs McNeil, Jennifer Osborne, Peter Pavia