Free The Collision on Hardwood Drive by Elizabeth Bryant

deflected every single question, though, choosing to answer with one or two words , at most.
    I studied Joe’s face, hoping to feel even a fraction of the attraction I felt when I was with Rob. There wasn’t anything wrong with him, of course, but I felt no spark. There was no fluttering in my nether regions. In fact, my nether regions were as dry as a Mormon’s 21 st birthday party.
    I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt—maybe it just took him a while to feel comfortable around new people. Maybe it would just take me a while to warm up to him. Unfortunately, one of the first questions he asked me after he’d stonewalled Claire did not bode well for a future that included any element of us .
    “Stephanie, I’ve been meaning to ask , how come a great girl like you is still single?” he asked.
    That was always an awkward question. What he really meant—what every man always meant—was what’s your damage?
    I decided to deflect his question—turnabout is fair play, after all. “Do you really want to know why I’m single?” I asked, sighing dramatically.
    Joe nodded, taking the bait.
    “It’s my third nipple. Some guys just can’t handle it,” I said, completely straight-facedly. Joe looked horrified—at least, he did until Claire burst out laughing.
    “Kidding ,” I said, deciding to take pity on him. “Why? What’s your damage? Why are you still single?”
    As soon as Joe opened his mouth, I knew that I was the one who asked the wrong question. I tried not to cringe as he began to speak.
    “Man, you know, I wonder that all the time. I seriously think it’s because I’m too nice,” he said.
    Oh, boy, here we go.
    “Women don’t really want nice guys. They want assholes to treat them like shit. Know how I know?”
    He didn’t wait for me to guess, and he definitely didn’t give me the chance to tell him I didn’t care how he thought he knew.
    “Because I am always, always nice to girls, and I always get stuck in the friend zone! It’s like—by treating women as human beings, they stop thinking of me as a man. Girls are crazy. What can I do, though? I’m not going to start to be mean.” He smiled at the end of his speech as though that were my cue to be impressed.
    I thought of a million things I could say. Fortunately, Claire saved me from blowing up at Joe. She looked at her watch and said, “Shit! Steph, we’re late—I told Megan we’d be at her place at 5:30. Sorry, Joe—we have to get going.”
    She offered him a deeply insincere smile. I knew she was bored with Joe—after all, there was no Megan. I didn’t protest, though, because I was more than bored with Joe too.
    He probably didn’t mean to be such an unattractive boor. He was harmless , and I could afford to be the bigger person here. I turned to Joe, giving him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. Maybe we can finish this another time.”
    As I stood to leave, an overweight man slammed into me. He spilled his coffee down the front of my shirt.
    “Fuck!” I screamed as the hot liquid burned my skin. I plucked at my shirt, trying to keep the damp heat from soaking into my skin. When I looked up at Joe, he was studying the ground like there was something interesting on his feet.
    I looked up to see who had bumped into me. I didn’t have to search because he was standing in front of me and shouting straight into my face. “What, you think you’re so special you don’t need to look where you’re going? You owe me a fucking coffee!”
    “Ex cuse me?” I said, gasping. “You bumped into me ! Joe, you saw the whole thing—” I looked up at Joe for help, waiting for him to jump in to support me. Of course, he did no such thing. He stood to the side, pretending to find the floor fascinating—pretending not to even know me.
    The man who bumped into me snorted derisively. “Exactly. Even your little boyfriend knows you had your head up your ass. Bitch .” He shot me a disgusted look and huffed as he began to walk