Free Panties for Sale by Mattie York

grateful.   I’m doing her a favour so her whole damn
family in Japan doesn’t see her online.  
    At first I didn’t think she
understood me.   She had all these poses.
Really.   It was hysterical.   She kept trying to flirt with the
camera.   Lower her head and flutter her
eyelashes.   To be honest, I thought she
was trying to seduce me. I had to tell her about Tanya.   Sure, honey, I can show your face. And then
someone can stalk you.   Bloody Tanya and
her ring.   And what kind of boyfriend did
she have?   I ask you? What the hell is he
doing online searching through the VIP pictures on my website?   To get into those pictures, you have to be a
client. Yes.   That would be someone who
has already paid for our services. Um.   So what is he up to?
    Men!   Men!   Men!   
    I sure love them, but god
damned I hate the lot of them.   Jesus
alone knows why I got married again.   Especially to this stupid fucker.   John, what the hell are you doing?   Not home yet.   It’s past
11:00.   Work.   Right.   He’s at work.   Bullshit. He’s out
with his secretary again.   I know
it.   So what? It’s my fault. I’m
frigid.   Yeah, frigid is right. I don’t
want to fuck his sorry ass. I’m sick of it. Fucking men.   They got to rename that.   Servicing men.   Ain’t nothing going on for me. I’m so tired
of pleasing everyone. When is it time for me?
    Luann says that my chakras
are out of line.   Whatever that bloody
means.   God damned chakras.   Where do people come up with this shit these
days? I’ll tell you what’s out of line.   My bloody satisfaction. I can’t get none!   When do I get to be satisfied?   When do I get to lie back and have someone
please me?   Mick Jagger.   Now he could satisfy.. with those big lips of
his.   Damn.   Angela calm yourself.  
    Son of a
bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Where is he?   Like I don’t know.   PRICK!!!!!
    She’s nice enough.   Luann Black Feather.   What kind of a name is that?   Black Feather. Feather is right.   Feather brain.   But, she was right.   About my stress. I was too stressed out. And
today, she gave me the most marvelous tea.   What did she call it?   Ganja
tea.   It relaxed me right away.   I have to learn how to make that stuff.   She said it’s important for me to relax
myself.   To sit alone with my
thoughts.   Just stare out of the window
if I want to.   Stop and sit quietly for a
few minutes every day.   That’s what she
said. Well, I am.   I’m writing in this
journal.   Actually, I’m writing a
lot.   Oh, and I’m starting this goddamned
gratitude list. Every day.   I have to sit
and write down 10 things I’m grateful for. Ha!   OK.   I’m grateful for…..
    Where is that damned prick of
a husband?   Why won’t he answer his
phone? No, really. I don’t have to think about him.   I am only going to fill my head with good
things.  
    Thank you. Thank you. Thank
you.   Thank you for my two darling boys.
Who I adore. I’m going to raise to be real boys.   Real nice boys. Not like their prick father.   But kind and strong. And open the door for
women. And listen.

10

 
    The barista winked at Alex as he handed her two grande chai
lattes with soy milk.   She wrapped them
in cardboard sleeves and then carried them to the back of the busy Starbucks
café where Chieko was waiting.   Alex
would have preferred to lounge out in the big velvet chairs in front of the
fireplace, but the back table was probably much better for their
conversation.  
    “Ohma! It’s hot!” Chieko cried, almost dropping the large
paper cup on the table.
    “Yes,” laughed Alex. “I’m sorry. I should have warned you.
You usually can’t drink it for a few minutes.   They make it really hot here, so it lasts a long time.” Alex held her
cup just under her nose and closed her eyes and let the strong spicy aroma wash
over her.   Warm fires, Christmas and
freshly baked