Free Casey Barnes Eponymous by E.A. Rigg

Catherine to Sukh, baffled.   “What’s she talking about?”
    “I am not sure,” Sukh said, “Catherine, Beowulf is a primary source.”
    “I know.” Catherine’s voice rose like one of those television
preachers with microphones affixed to their heads.   “But if we reference other primary
sources from the time period then it would really make an impact on Mrs.
Edwards.   She’s a notoriously tough
grader, you know.”
    Sukh frowned.   “I
see.”
    Casey wondered if putting cold medicine in Catherine’s water
bottle would serve to tranquilize her.   “Do you know of any clear cough syrups?” she asked Sukh.
    “Didn’t Mrs. Edwards say it would be okay to present this
project in dialogue format?” he asked, “Wouldn’t that be a little less work?”
    “Everyone will be doing dialogues,” Catherine
said, “We have to be different.   I
want a hundred on this and I heard that she only gives out one hundred per
class.”  
    Casey rolled her eyes.   “And I heard that knowledge of the plot of Beowulf has zero relevance to achievement in life.”
    Catherine glared and began to detail which parts of the story
everyone should take.    A
moment later, when she said they should use different fonts for each group
member and began to analyze which font would be the most appropriate for each
person,Casey closed her eyes and put her head
in her hands.  
    “Casey!   You need to
hear this.”
    Casey shook her head and looked up.   She cleared her throat.   “I have a
better idea for this project.”  
    “Oh do you?” Catherine said.
    “Yes,” Casey replied, “ Beowulf …as
Elvis.”   Sukh
sat up straighter in his chair.
    “Excuse me?” Catherine snapped.
    “Sikh’s Elvis--”
    “Sukh, Casey, Sukh.”
    “Right,” Casey continued, “I’m Priscilla, and you get to be the
Colonel.   You battle with Elvis over
creative license to the death.   He,
of course, wins.   But in the long
run, when he’s like five hundred pounds and eating his last fried Mars bar in
seclusion before disappearing from the face of the earth, even if there are
some very in the know people who believe he’s in Rachel--”
    “Rachel?” Sukh asked.  
    “Nevada,” Casey said, “Area 51, where they keep the aliens.
Point being, Colonel wins, in the end.”  
    “What does any of this have to do with Beowulf ?”
Catherine asked.
    “Who the hell knows?” Casey said, “I didn’t understand a word
of that piece of sh--”   Mrs. Edwards
walked to the project group next to them.   Casey made quotation marks with her hand.   “ Literature.   But everyone understands Elvis.”
    Catherine just stared for a moment.   “I…I…NO.   No no no.”  
    Sukh smiled.   “I
don’t think the Elvis idea is so bad.”   Catherine and Casey looked at him.   “You can draw parallel between the Colonel and Grendel,” he continued, “Priscilla
Presley can be mother of Grendel.”   
    “Exactly!” Casey said.  
    “But,” Catherine sputtered .  
    “The report you propose,” Sukh continued, “is the same report
everyone will do.   It’s the same
report we hear since the beginning of our academic career.   Why not do something different?   We can even add live music.”  
    Casey sat up in her chair.  
    “I play the bass, you know,” Sukh added.  
    “I didn’t know,” she said.   Sukh nodded enthusiastically.   Casey beamed.   “We can totally add live music!”  
    “A, how do you say?” he said, “A rock opera! That’s it!”
    “Awesome!”  
    Catherine’s eyes widened in horror.   The bell rang to end class.   “Hasta mañana,” Casey said, “Don’t
forget to wear your blue suede shoes.”   Sukh smiled.   Catherine ran to
Mrs. Edwards’ desk.
    By the time she arrived at the talent show meeting, Casey was
two hundred percent convinced that high school was no more than an obstacle
course set up to separate those in life who would one day pretend to enjoy pushing
paper and