Free Nobody Loves a Ginger Baby by Laura Marney

died
    Wi’ ma habit shoutin ‘FEED me’.
    Ah stole your telly, your rings, aw yer wee things
    Anythin ah could sell, ah took the wean’s XBox as well.
    But it was never enough, ah wis feeling bad and mad and sad and rough
    but ah needed mair STUFF.
    I’m sorry Maw
    and ah’ll
    no
    dae
    it again.’
    Michael uses his mobile phone as though it were a mic. He postures ; crouching and squatting, moving around the class gesturing with outstretched arms and fingers in what Daphne recognises as a gangsta stylee.
    ‘Yae loacked me in ma room wipin’ up spit, and sick and piss and shit, even when I HIT yae yae widnae gee up.
    Yae brushed mah teeth that went black, yae kept me and fed me and led me back
    fae the CRACK. The crack in ma life, that caused aw the strife that made me come it yae wi a knife,
    the crack ah fell through, that cut me in two, but it wis YOU that put me back on track.
    Ah’m sorry Maw
    And ah’ll
    no
    dae
    it again.’  
    It’s unconventional but it fulfils the requirements for the assessment so Daphne ticks all the boxes. She just hopes the external examiner never asks for a demonstration.
    ‘The cunts sellin the stuff are sellin yae death, they’re thugs,
    Drugs is for mugs, drugs is for mugs, hear me now.
    Ah’m sorry Maw
    And ah’ll
    never
    dae
    it again.’
    Michael finishes to tumultuous applause.
    ‘Fantastic Michael,’ says Daphne, taking her time, letting the atmosphere, which is close to revivalist meeting fervour, settle down again. This will be a hard act to follow.
    ‘Let’s see, it’s you, Jamie. You’re the last. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our last speaker of the day: Jamie.’
    Jamie slowly stands and moves to the front of the class, tilting his head to see over his almost opaque glasses, resting his clasped hands gently on his soft round paunch in a relaxed professorial manner. He is a big man, red-faced but quietly spoken, a placid, self-contained man.
    ‘Ah’ve done terrible things. You don’t want tae know the things ah’ve done. But that’s aw in the past. And the thing that ah’ve goat oot ay it, the wan maist important thing in ma life is: friendship. Honest open friendship wi’ the maist important people in ma life: ma faimily and ma pals. Billie for wan.’
    Jamie gives a slow nod towards Billy, which is just as solemnly reciprocated.
    ‘Ah’d say Billie wis ma best mate. Me and Billy came through rehab thegither and when ah wisnae able to hondle it he kept me gaun, and when he wisnae able for it, ah kept him gaun. Mindyou, it wisnae aw tears and snotters, we’ve hud some great laughs as well. Me and Billie are lucky, we’re at a stage in wur lives where there’s nay need for aw the shite that we used tae dae, there’s nae need for any mair lies. Ah’m telling yae, honesty is the best thing. Honesty sets yae free.
    ‘The day ah start lyin tae Billie is the day ah start lyin tae ma case worker, lyin tae mysel, the day ah start back oan the smack. And ah don’t want that day ever tae come, so: honesty. Billie knows me, he knows whit ah’ve done, he knows who ah wis and who ah um noo and that’s okay wi’him. Ah’m okay wi’ him.
    ‘Ah know you’re a Rangers supporter, Billie, but naebody’s perfect . And ah just want tae say, thanks wee man. Your okay wi’ me. Thanks for aw the hard things yae telt me: the honesty yae gave me, the friendship yae gave me. Cheers Billie.’
    Jamie makes a dignified return to his seat, slapping a high-five with Billy as he passes without breaking step.
    Daphne roots around in her folder, pretending to be collating marks. Don’t cry, she tells herself, do not fucking cry.
    ‘Well, I did say earlier that not all of you would pass this assessment and…’
    Daphne looks around as the faces change from expectant to crushed.
    ‘I have to tell you that you have all …’
    She loves these people. She wants them to take her home with them to the rehab centre and infuse her cold lonely bones with their warm