Free Dimmest Of Night (Dimmest Of Night Series) by Jennifer Anderson Page A

Fidgeting with anything I could get my hands on.
    “Oh it’s more than enough. Still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense why the most elite demons are on our tail.” No point in making sense of any of it. They decide they want something, then all sense goes out the window.
    “I’m not going to make it through this alive am I?” I asked turning towards him, tears burning behind my eyes. Still refusing to cry in front of him. Never wanting to show weakness. If I am to die, I’ll do it with as much dignity as possible.
    He didn’t like the thought of never seeing her again, of this human ceasing to exist. “Not on my clock angel girl.” He said mustering up the best smile he had.
    “As much as that eases the pain, you can’t protect me forever.” Now letting the depression wash over me in waves. Distracted by his warm smile.
    “Your forgetting. It’s not forever. You have 80 more years at most to live. That is a drop in the bucket for my kind.”
    “I know that’s supposed to make me feel better, but it really didn’t.” I said unable to stop the laugh that escaped out of me. It sounded more of an hysterical half laugh, half sob.
    Sucking up his pride, he reached out and pulled her down next to him, holding her in his embrace.
    I loved having his arms around me. Never knowing what it felt like just being with someone so gentle, and dangerous at the same time. Being next to that person, held by them without the pain that came along with it. The only pain I felt at this moment was my own aching heart. “Blane?”
    “Yes?”
    “I don’t want to be some knife wielding eighty year old elderly person fighting off demons in a nursing home.”
    “What are you saying?”
    “I’m saying if there is no hope for me, I don’t want you wasting your time, and your life protecting me.” Now more worried about him, than myself. I didn’t like anyone putting themselves in harms way for me. As a child, my foster parents would think I was ridiculous if someone were to even stomp on a bug in front of me. I would cry and have a melt down unlike no other. Maybe it was my abilities that made me more empathetic towards any living soul, maybe it was just me. I don’t know, but I’d rather be dead and gone than have any other soul feel an ounce of pain that was meant to be for me. Before I thought he was an unshakable angel, unable to be hurt or feel pain. I was wrong. The rules have changed and my mind was made up. This wonderful man slash angel wasn’t going to stick his neck out for me. I would leave him when the time is right. I would bare the pain and die in dignity.
    “Carma, you are my assignment. I will protect you until my assignment is complete. I never turn my back on a job.”
    That stung. I didn’t want to be an assignment. That fact was even more unbearable than at the hands of a demon. I was falling for this unattainable man. The first time where I thought I was falling for someone was in high school. That fact was thrown back into my face when I figured out it was all a ploy to get down my pants. Then again, right after high school. He was handsome, charismatic, smooth talking and about six months later I found out very much married. I should have known sooner. I just didn’t ask the right questions. He never felt guilt around me. A true testament to how much of a dog that guy was. Cheating on his wife and kids, never feeling the least bit guilty. Looking up at Blane, he was obviously the cream of the crop. Overwhelmingly handsome, powerful, strong, motivated, proud, the list goes on and on. If I wasn’t so busy staying alive, I probably would have noticed my growing feelings sooner. Not being able to gauge anything from him was a blessing and a curse at the same time. Wanting to know how he feels, but having the perfection of him shielding everyone’s feelings from me, including his own. Such a double edged sword. Only feeling what he is feeling when he was injured. I decided at that moment that I