Free The Lady and the Poet by Maeve Haran Page B

every corner of our realm and even beyond. Without her all would be darkness. You do not choose to accept the sun or reject it.’
    ‘Yet I do not have to serve the sun like some high priestess, making a pretence that she is young and beautiful, ever ready to do her bidding whether it is fair or not…’ I was remembering that vision, crazed and half-naked, attacking Lady Mary.
    At that my aunt struck me hard across the face.
    I gasped at the pain. Never in my whole life had I been struck, even by my father in the most frenzied of his cholers.
    ‘You put yourself too high. This is not a simple choice for you alone. I have talked to the Queen and, although she values loyalty above all and likes to keep those who are familiar about her, she is ready to entertain the idea of you in my place as I decline in years. Be mindful of what an honour that is to our family.’
    ‘I could not, Aunt! I would be like a poor common thrush in a golden cage, beating its wings against the bars when all around called for a canary.’
    ‘You are too fanciful, Ann.’ My aunt’s voice was as cold as the glint of metal when the sword flashes out of its scabbard, and just as threatening.
    ‘But, Aunt, pray…’ I tried to argue.
    ‘This is no small matter, niece. The Queen expects you. Our family’s name is at stake, and your father’s future too. The Queen is not someone to be gainsaid because you are young and innocent. If you like not the brittleness of Court life, then learn to dissemble!’
    ‘Aunt, it is not in my nature.’ Some good angel prompted me to add the one thing that might convince her: ‘I will speak out of turn or do the wrong thing and bring shame on the good name of the Mores!’
    ‘It may not be as simple as that. Subjects do not turn down favours from the monarch. This offence is a serious one.’ She held me with steady, disapproving eyes, as a hawk surveys a small animal. ‘If you are not to be a gentlewoman to the Queen, then there is no other thought but marriage. It is time you learned humility. I will go to Court alone and you will start to learn the skills of running a great house, since marriage is certain to be your lot. Joan, my gentlewoman, will be your mistress and you will do exactly as she says.’
    ‘I am sorry, Aunt, to so displease you.’
    ‘This is no trivial matter, Ann. I fear your grandfather has too much indulged you. He was hard on his own children, your fatherand my sister and I; if we dared to gainsay him he would have had us whipped, yet in his dotage it seems his brains have sunk to his boots.’
    She noticed the locket with the picture of my mother I was turning in my hands and flung it to the floor. ‘Do you think
she
would be proud of you?’
    Loneliness swept over me, and I missed my life at Loseley so much I almost wept.
    I slipped to my knees when my aunt had left the room and picked up my treasured trinket. ‘O Lord of Righteousness,’ I beseeched, ‘all-seeing God, assure me that in this I do your will, and act not out of pride and selfish arrogance, but true proper humility.’
    I heard the door open and looked up, expecting Joan. But it was my sister Mary, so I rose to my feet in love and gratitude.
    But Mary had not come to salve my loneliness.
    Her face was almost as angry as my aunt’s and her voice crackled with harsh annoyance.
    ‘So, Ann, what is this nonsense I hear that you find the Court unpalatable to your saintly tastes? My brother-in-law Throckmorton sold lands to win his sister a place there, yet our aunt tells me you have the chance and hand it back like a hot pan that burns your delicate fingers.’
    ‘I am sorry but I cannot…’
    ‘Cannot!
Cannot get a place that will help your whole family! You know how badly my husband and I need money and advancement, how close we are to the brink of disaster, and yet you act thus selfishly!’
    ‘I am sorry, Mary. Perhaps I may help in other ways.’
    ‘I greatly doubt it. Since my sister-in-law Bess is