Free Search for Safety: Killing the Dead Book Two by Richard Murray

happened that I needed to know you would have told me.” I said.
    “Most people would have cared enough to ask though” she said with a sigh. “This is what I mean Ryan.”
    Once again I nodded to indicate understanding but in truth her point was eluding me. “What did you want to talk about that couldn’t wait until morning?” I asked her.
    Lily shook her head at me and rolled her eyes. “This is what I wanted to talk about.”
    “About Liz?”
    “No. About the fact that you don’t care about anyone but yourself.” She said with exasperation. “If it doesn’t directly involve you, then you aren’t interested and we need you to be interested in others.”
    “Why?”
    Lily sighed again and sat back in the chair considering her words before she spoke. “You said when I met you that you didn’t think we would survive this alone. That’s why you wanted to join together yes?” she finally asked.
    “Sure. I still doubt anyone would last too long alone.” I replied.
    “It isn’t just about working together though. You have to care enough about people to want to fight your hardest to survive.” She looked at me sadly, “I genuinely think that once things get really hard you will disappear on us when we need you most, because you don’t care about other people. You don’t care about us unless we have some use to you.”
    “That isn’t true.” I said and raised a hand as she was about to speak. “You are right that I don’t care very much about most people. I can’t relate to them, I don’t know how to and I am fine with that. The people here though...” I broke off not quite sure how to put into words what I meant.
    “I have chosen to be with all of you and while I may struggle to communicate that, I am here by choice.” I said.
    “I wish I could believe you. I want to believe so much.” She said putting her untouched drink on the coffee table. “I care about the people here Ryan, we are all we have now and I will fight to the death to protect them. Can you say you would do that?”
    The idea of fighting to the death to protect anyone was a bizarre idea. Surely it would be better to live to continue fighting. My confusion must have been plain for her to see as Lily smiled sadly and said “I thought so.”
    “We have had this discussion already. I cannot change who or what I am. If you want me to pretend then I will do so, I passed as normal for years before this happened and I can fake it again if you want but I cannot be something I am not.” I said hotly.
    “I know” said Lily as she stood up. “It’s my fault for thinking you could be. Goodnight Ryan.” She said as she left the room.
    “I’m sleeping down here then I guess” I said to the empty room. I was annoyed, with myself as much as with Lily. I didn’t know why she cared so much all of a sudden but it was becoming a problem. The injury to my leg and the vulnerable position it left me in was enough to tell me that I needed other people. I sighed and closed my eyes, with any luck an answer to my problems would appear in a dream as I slept.
     

Chapter 8
    I awoke the next morning just as the first rays of sunlight were coming in through the window. My sleep had been unpleasant and I had woken often with the pain of my ankle. I needed a shave and a wash and I wanted very much to relieve myself.
    With an effort I managed to rise off of the couch and hobble through to the hallway. Lily was heading to the kitchen and curtly informed me that the house had a downstairs bathroom where I could freshen up.
    In a short time I was back on the couch, feeling a little better about myself. I pulled off my sock and inspected my ankle as best I could. I didn’t think it was broken or at least I hoped it wasn’t broken.
    “Put your foot on the table and keep it elevated” Lily commanded as walked into the room with a steaming bowl of porridge which she passed to me with an instruction to eat.
    “It looks like you’ve sprained it. You