Free Anywhere by J. Meyers

awkward between us after last night. The downpour had turned into a drizzle, and we’d made our way back to the hostel and said good night. I’d fallen asleep with the feel of Asher replaying over and over again in my mind, no matter how much I tried to push it away.
    And I’d felt shy about him this morning, but that had all gone away as soon as I’d seen him in the lobby, a smile lighting his face when he spotted me.
    “So why didn’t your brother come with you?” I said now, as we stared out toward the Adriatic Sea, the wind whipping my hair across my face every few seconds. “You never said.”
    Asher didn’t respond right away, so I turned to look at him. His jaw muscles were clenching and he looked like he was concentrating really hard. He was obviously upset, and I was suddenly sorry I’d asked.
    “Look,” I said, “if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine…”
    “No,” he said, his eyes watering slightly. “It’s just…my brother was killed in a car accident about a month ago, right before he would have graduated from college.”
    “Oh, Asher,” I said. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, but somehow that always sounded wrong to me—or not wrong , really, but not enough . Even though I was sorry and felt pain for his pain. But I didn’t want him to think I felt pity for him, because nobody wants to feel pitied.
    So I reached over to where he gripped the railing and gently slid my hand over his. He opened his fingers and let me twine mine into his. We stood like that for a few moments, silent. I thought about my brother and how awful it would feel to lose him, knowing there was no way I could even fathom what Asher was going through.
    My heart ached for him and I wasn’t sure what to do. Asking him questions would just bring up the pain, but at the same time it didn’t feel right to not say anything at all.
    “Your brother…what was his name?”
    “Josh.” Asher leaned forward onto his elbows, taking my hand with him. The movement pulled me close against his side as he held my hand between both of his. He started to trace patterns on my fingers and the back of my hand.
    “Will you tell me about him?” I said.
    He was quiet again, his jaw working. He focused on my hand between his while he wrestled back control, then he swallowed and nodded.
    “It’s just…hard,” he said. “Still.”
    “Of course it is. It just happened.” I squeezed his hands. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”
    Asher stared at our intertwined fingers, then said, “He was my best friend.” His arms tightened slightly. “He was a year younger than me, and one of the best people I’ve ever known. He was funny and really quick—he always had a comeback. I loved that about him. And he was just fun to be around. We’d been planning to take this trip together for the past year, and when we got back, we were going to find an apartment somewhere in Florida and look for jobs.” He swallowed hard. “But now…”
    Tears stung the backs of my eyes at the raw pain in his voice.
    “Josh had always wanted to live in Florida, and I just wanted to live wherever he did. He was going to save the Earth one small section at a time.”
    “He sounds like a really great guy.”
    “He was.” Asher was quiet as he looked out over the water. “You know, the quests were Josh’s idea. He started that when we were in high school.” He paused, then said, “He made life fun.”
    “Then you must be a lot like him,” I said. “Because you do that, too.”
    “Nah,” Asher said, smiling sadly. “That’s not me. That’s the European Shine.”
    I tried to figure out whether he was right. I was loving Europe and was excited just to be here, that was true…but no, what was making it fun was Asher.
    “No,” I said quietly, not quite believing that I was about to say this out loud, but he needed to hear it more than I needed to keep it to myself, “it’s you, Asher. You’ve made this