Free Don't Kiss Girls and Other Silly Stories by Pat Flynn Page B

‘Yawwwwwnnnnn.’ My arms stretch out and, just like Dad taught me, my right one ends up around Ashleigh’s seat.
    Slowly, but surely, my hand creeps upwards until I strike gold. It’s a shirt, with skin underneath! I barely touch it and look out of the corner of my eye to gauge Ashleigh’s reaction, but she’s playing it cool. Just relaxing and enjoying the movie, which is exactly what I was hoping for.
    Slowly, I wiggle my finger, giving her a little rub. Ash uncrosses her arms and legs and smiles, which to anyone else could seem like it’s because the movie star has just made a joke, but I know it’s really because she likes the Tony Ross style.
    Yes! Finally, something is going right tonight.
    After a few minutes of stroking, I hear an irritating frog-ringing noise. I can’t believe someone forgot to turn off their phone. I’d definitely remember to do that, if I actually had a mobile, that is.
    â€˜Oops,’ says Ashleigh. ‘It’s mine.’
    She bends down, opens the pink handbag at her feet, and switches the phone off.
    It’ s then I realise something is very wr ong. I’m still stroking something! I look across and see that my hand has reached too far, onto the left shoulder of the person sitting next to Ashleigh. Darn these skinny movie seats!
    The person must notice me looking because she tilts her head and catches my eye. I wonder why she didn’t do anything when I started feeling up her shoulder. Maybe she was embarrassed, or maybe she got a look at me when I walked in and liked what she saw.
    She’s got long brown hair, a diamond earring and … a moustache!
    Holy guacamole! It’s not a she, it’s a he!
    The bloke gives me a wink and I take my hand away faster than a pickpocket.
    Far out!
    When Ashleigh sits back up, it’ s all over in the blink of an eye. The goodie throws the baddie out of a plane, jumps into the pilot’s seat, lands on ice, kisses the girl and the credits r oll to a rap song playing in the background.
    â€˜What an awesome movie,’ Ashleigh says to me as we walk up the aisle.
    â€˜Yeah, great,’ I reply.
    She has to go to the toilet again so I slump in a couch and wait for her. I try to think positively. Maybe I can still make my move in the car park?
    â€˜You shouldn’t sit there,’ a kid beside me says.
    â€˜Why not?’
    He points at my seat. ‘Someone left a surprise.’
    I stand up and see half a melted Malteser smudged into the cushion. Twisting my head, I see that the other half is caked onto the back of my jeans.
    â€˜You have a brown stain,’ says the kid. ‘It looks funny.’
    â€˜Your face looks funny,’ I reply, and it’s like my words are waterbombs because tears well up in his eyes.
    I quickly walk off.
    Ashleigh comes out and we stroll to the front of the cinemas, me staying half a step behind so she won’t see the brown stain.
    â€˜Are you tired?’ she asks. ‘You’re walking really slow.’
    â€˜Nah. I’m just trying to enjoy every last moment of tonight.’
    â€˜Oh, that’s so sweet. And you know what else is sweet? How you were with your mum. You weren’t ashamed of her, like some guys would be.’
    â€˜That’s me. Unashamed.’
    We wait in the car park and directly across from us are Kane and Lacey. Darn! How am I supposed to make a move with them watching?
    Just as I’m building up the courage to say that I’m feeling dizzy and I need to lean on her shoulder for a minute, Ashleigh turns to me.
    â€˜You know, Tony, most guys would have tried to hit on me in the movie. You’re not like most guys, are you?’
    â€˜Well …’
    â€˜I really like that,’ she continues.
    â€˜You do?’
    â€˜The world is full of guys who like me just for one thing. I want to go out with someone different.’
    While I’m trying to figure out what the ‘one