Free Ms. Sue Has No Clue! by Dan Gutman Page B

we were healthy enough to ride on the zip line we were going to buy.
    â€œWho knows?” Ms. Sue continued. “Maybe we can raise fifty thousand dollars! With that much money, we could get a SMART Board for every classroom in the school.”
    â€œI could really use a SMART Board,” said Mr. Granite.
    â€œThe sky’s the limit!” said Ms. Sue. “If we put our minds to it and work really hard, we could raise a hundred thousand dollars. Or even a million!”
    Ms. Sue was waving her arms around excitedly. She had a glassy look in her eyes.
    â€œThink of it!” she said. “We could buy an iPad for every student in the school. We could get a climbing wall and a swimming pool for the gym! We could put an ice cream machine in the lunchroom! We could buy a hot tub for the teachers’ lounge!”
    Alexia was still hiding under her desk. I leaned over and whispered to her. “You said your mom used to be a professional fund-raiser. How come she stopped doing that?”
    â€œShe got fired,” Alexia told me. “My mom tends to go overboard.”
    â€œShe falls out of boats a lot?” I asked.
    â€œNo, I mean she gets carried away,” Alexia told me.
    â€œDoes she get carried away after she falls out of boats?”
    â€œShe doesn’t fall out of boats!” said Alexia.
    â€œHey, you’re the one who said she fell out of a boat,” I said. Why is everybody always talking about boats?
    Anyway, Ms. Sue told us more of the great stuff we could buy with the money we were going to raise.
    â€œWe could get personal robots that carry your backpacks to school for you! We could blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah . . .”

    I wanted her to keep talking, because as long as she was talking she wouldn’t be able to take our temperature with that giant thermometer. I bet the only reason why she gave us cupcakes was to distract us so we wouldn’t think about the thermometer. Well, it didn’t work with me .
    Finally, Ms. Sue stopped talking. She went to the corner of the room.
    It was thermometer time.
    I was sweating. I thought I was gonna die.
    Ms. Sue smiled as she picked up the giant thermometer.
    I wanted to run away to Antarctica and go live with the penguins. This was the worst thing to happen to me since TV Turnoff Week!
    â€œAnd what are you planning to do with that giant thermometer, Ms. Sue?” asked Mr. Klutz.
    â€œThis will let everybody know how much money we raise,” she replied. “Every time we get a hundred dollars, we’ll record it on the thermometer.”
    â€œYou mean you’re not going to take our temperature with that thing?” I asked.
    Everybody laughed even though I didn’t say anything funny.
    â€œOf course not!” said Ms. Sue. “That would be ridiculous.”
    Oh. Never mind.

3
Welcome to the Carnival
    Over the next month, everybody got ready for the school carnival. The parents and teachers built lots of booths and games. In art class with Ms. Hannah, we made posters. After school, we went to all the stores in town and asked if they would display our artwork in their windows. The town put up a big banner across Main Street . . .

    Finally, it was the day of the carnival. When I got to school with my parents and my sister, Amy, it looked like the whole town was waiting to get into the playground. I saw Ryan, Michael, Neil, Andrea, Emily, and their parents. There were lots of balloons, and music was blasting. Booths were being set up.
    One table was filled with cupcakes, cookies, and brownies that people had baked. There was a little area for pony rides. The street next to the playground had been turned into a car wash.
    Ms. Sue was running around with a bullhorn, making sure everybody was ready. The giant thermometer was mounted on a stage.
    Finally, the gate to the playground opened, and we all rushed in. I could smell popcorn