Free Don't Tell the Groom by Anna Bell

probably get written out of the will if I deprived my mum of the opportunity of being able to buy a new hat for the wedding.
    Time for a change of approach. I Google:
    BUDGET WEDDING IDEAS
    Bingo! Oh, that is a poor choice of words. I just wanted to express that I seem to be on to something. There are absolutely loads of forums full of suggestions.
    BRIDGETJ123
    I’M GETTING MARRIED IN OUR LOCAL REGISTRY OFFICE AND THEN WE’RE HAVING A PARTY AT OUR VILLAGE HALL. MY MUM’S DOING THE FOOD AND MY AUNT’S MADE MY DRESS. TOTAL COST £1,500
.
    This is more like it. Although I don’t think the community centre where I’m currently going to my gambling meetingswould really cut it. For that to work I’m imagining a twee village hall with bunting and fairy lights. Croquet on the lawn. Afternoon tea. Make that champagne afternoon tea. With a barbershop quartet.
    Nope. I can’t imagine that I could get all that for five thousand pounds, especially not around here.
    CASEYGOGO
    I’M GOING TO GRETNA GREEN WITH MY HUBBY TO BE AND A MINI BUS FULL OF MY NEAREST AND DEAREST!!!! HOPE WE CAN HAVE A MEAL OUT AFTER. OUR BUDGET IS £1,000
.
    See, there are loads of people doing this kind of thing on a budget. I just need to start thinking outside the box.
    â€˜What about Gretna Green for our wedding?’
    â€˜Too tacky. Look, is the pressure getting to you? Do you want me to help you organise this wedding?’
    â€˜No!’ Oops, that was practically a scream. ‘No, I’m fine thanks, honey. I was just trying to throw you off the scent.’
    There we are, there’s the side head-tilt that is fast becoming Mark’s signature move. He’s been doing it a lot lately. He thinks I’m deranged. Who can blame him?
    Perhaps the budget wedding search term is taking me down the wrong path.
    UNUSUAL WEDDING VENUES HAMPSHIRE SURREY
    I’m amazed at how many sites are popping up in the Google listing. There are a number of blogs alone that are dedicated to unusual venues. Seems from my scan reading that doing something unconventional is the trendy thing now.
    Maybe that’s what I can say to people. I didn’t want a princess wedding as I thought it was all a bit too clichéd. I’m just uber trendy and ahead of my time.
    The website I’ve landed on is perfect. There are loads of suggestions about where you can have the wedding reception. Old discarded railway stations, steam trains, boats. Sensing a theme here at all?
    There’s even a whole tab for museums. Who would want to get married in a museum? What with all the scary mannequins and old stuff? I click on the tab anyway, just to see what kind of a wedding you can have among the glass showcases.
    Hello! I’ve spotted a massive website fail. I secretly love spotting errors on things like this. It’s a bit of a howler as next to the text about the Surrey Military Museum, which sounds like a stuffy old museum, there’s a picture of a beautiful old manor house.
    Where is that manor house? It looks lovely. Maybe if I click on the picture it will take me to the right website.
    There must be some sort of broken link as I’ve ended up on the website for the Surrey Military Museum.
    This is a museum dedicated to telling the diverse and interesting military history of Surrey, including the story of those regiments stationed in the county during the Second World War
 …
    Yada, yada, yada. Where’s the bit about weddings? Ah, here we are.
    Housed in an old officers’ mess, the museum now caters for exclusive wedding receptions
.
    Oh, my goodness. The museum is the place in the picture. That place is gorgeous. Nearly as gorgeous as The Manor that Jane showed me.
    I just want to find out how much it costs, but it’s one of those annoying websites where there are only two pages and all it really tells you is how to get there.
    â€˜Hot lead?’ asks Mark.
    I look up and he’s laughing at