Free The Right Thing by Allyson Young Page A

minute of the beatings , craved them and privately
wished they hadn’t ended? Unable to admit that to herself. It wasn’t right
Donna thought Michael was an abuser. Except whatever she said, Donna would
probably just see her as a woman who made excuses for the man who beat her. McKenzie
marshalled her thoughts and tried anyway.
    “How much do you know about BDSM?”
    To her surprise, the other woman shrugged and said, “Some. And not
personally. But I read and I listen. One of my brothers is a pretty dominant
man. Joey. He really likes to be in charge and his girlfriends kind of lean on
him and fall all over themselves to do his bidding. I guess I know more about a
woman wanting to find a strong guy to take care of her than anything else. And
the kicker is she’s supposed to have the actual power. It’s hard to get my head
around, ‘cause I don’t know any woman like that and probably never will ’cause
Joey don’t bring his around for me to spend time with. But that’s not what you
were into. You were too scared.”
    McKenzie involuntarily closed her eyes. She’d been scared, sure, but Michael hadn’t scared her, not even
when she thought for a split second he’d brought Joyce with him. Michael never
frightened her, not even during his temper tantrums over the last weeks they’d
been together. Any pain he visited on her was welcome, no matter how she begged
for mercy and protested it. Part was need, but ’Kenzie welcomed it primarily
for Michael, because it was his need to administer erotic pain and her reward
was knowing she’d pleased him. And the sex was spectacular, better and far more
intense than she’d ever dreamed about or known before. Nope, she was terrified
because despite the strong instinct to flee, her heart would have won out. If
not for Donna, Lisa, and the Lees, she would be back with Michael right now.
And Michael would make good on his idea about Andrew and Joyce, meaning
absolute hell on earth for both of them. And that she wouldn’t do to him.
    “BDSM can also include something called TPE or total power exchange.
It’s kind of extreme and it’s all about trust, total trust that your, uh,
partner will know what’s right, what you’re capable of or not. In anything. As
well as knowing what you need, deep down. It’s like giving yourself to them
totally.”
    “Sounds like a sex slave. I can’t imagine it myself. If you trusted
him then how come he scares you?” Donna didn’t seem to be judging, sounding
genuinely curious.
    “Michael didn’t scare me, Donna. I scared myself. I almost went with
him today.”
    Donna shook her head and stared, clearly trying to figure out a
concept McKenzie had taken months to learn, and only because she had a very
good teacher. One she’d fallen in love with, making her an extremely apt pupil.
McKenzie sighed again and searched for another way to explain, because she
needed Donna’s understanding in order to gain her support. Maybe Donna could
shore up her faint determination not to go back to him and end up destroying
him. She couldn’t be that selfish.
    “I never thought of myself as a slave, but I was in Michael’s service,
and I wanted to be there, more than anything. I love him more than life itself
and he loves me. But love scared him and he decided to drive me away. He
succeeded. And then he said today; about looking for me. I can’t go back
because I’ll do…well…I’ll do something he’ll demand of me and it will destroy
him. I won’t do that to him.”
    “Fuck me, ’Kenzie. That’s nuts. That’s bigger than what moms do for
their kids, or at least what moms should do for their kids. I don’t believe you. I mean, I believe you, of course. But
you’re bonkers. Nobody should love anybody that much. It’ll kill you.”
    McKenzie didn’t say anything to that, and Donna visibly replayed her
last words. “I guess I can understand why you thought maybe checking out
yourself made sense in the spur of the moment. Holy shit.