Free The Bare Bum Gang and the Holy Grail by Anthony McGowan Page A

quite recognize, at first, because he wasn’t wearing his uniform. And then he winked, and I realised it was the nasty guard, not nasty any more because he wasn’t on duty, and he was only horrible to children when someone paid him to be.
    The Bare Bum Gang huddled together to watch, and while we were waiting, I told them about what I’d seen in King Arthur’s hospital room.

    ‘So it was all worth it, in the end,’ said Noah, smiling.
    ‘We did a good thing,’ said Jenny, ‘and that’s what counts.’
    Jamie burped in agreement.
    And it was quite funny, because the very moment he burped at least six huge explosions went off around the base of the tower, and it was exactly as if his burp had detonated them. The explosions brought down the building with a massive crash and a great plume of dust and smoke, and I thought then, and I think now, that a really big explosion is definitely the best way to end any adventure.

The Art of Tracking
    When you’re on an adventure or a quest, such as the one we were on to find King Arthur’s treasure, it is vitally important to be able to identify any tracks you come across. Imagine if you were on the trail of what you thought was a harmless bunny, vole or wimpy kid, and it turned out to be a jaguar, yeti or samurai warrior? You’d be in very serious trouble, and probably dead.
    When you are following animal tracks you should pay attention to various things. Obviously, there is the actual paw print itself. See if it has big claws coming out of the ends of the toes. If it has, you should probably RUN AWAY . You should also note the length of the stride (i.e. how far it is between each step). This will tell you roughly how big the animal is. If the length of the stride is quite teeny-tiny, say two centimetres, it is probably a vole and you are quite safe. If it is medium, say ten centimetres, it is probably a hedgehog, hare or squirrel, although it might also be a badger. You will still probably not be in too much danger, unless it is one of the notorious killer badgers, in which case RUN AWAY . If the stride is long, say a metre or more, it is probably a black panther, and you could RUN AWAY if you want, but it’s probably already too late to save yourself, so you should just hope the end comes quickly.
    On the following pages you will see eight different tracks. You have to try to guess what they are. The answers are at the end. I have included the Latin name for each killer beast to make the whole thing even more educational.
    If you score 7–8 , it means you are an expert tracker, and could easily live in the wilderness forever, eating wild deer you killed with a bow-and-arrow you made yourself.
    If you score 5–6 , you are an okay tracker. You could probably survive for a week in the wild eating rabbits, voles, berries etc., etc.
    If you score 3–4 , you are not a very good tracker. You might be able to survive for a day by eating worms and grass.
    If you score less than 3, you should never go anywhere near the wild because you will definitely be the one that gets eaten, probably by savage badgers, stoats wolverines, etc.
    Of course you can cheat, but that would mean two things. 1) You’re a rotten stinking cheater and 2) you’ll probably get eaten by a yeti.

     
    Answers
    1. Rabbit (Bunny rabbitus). As you can see, this rabbit is hopping round in circles, probably because it is crazy. You shouldn’t eat crazy rabbits, even if you are starving because a)it’s unsporting, b)it’s silly c)you’ll probably become crazy too and hop around in circles like a demented rodent.
    2. Black panther (Pantherus blackus). Actually, this could also be a leopard, but I like black panthers more as they are definitely cooler, unless they’re eating you.
    3. Bigfoot (or sasquatch). Actually, Bigfoot (or Sasquatch) and the yeti (or abominable snowman), have very similar tracks. You can tell them apart because usually the yeti’s footprints are in the snow, and Bigfoot’s tracks are