Free Bang: Memoirs of a Relationship Assassin by David Wailing Page A

window.
    “Right, well… I’ll get going.”
    “Mmm.”
    Bad taste in my mouth as I left the office. One of my Rules, broken. There were good reasons for them being there, that one particularly.
    I could still remember the Old Days. Being used like a sniper rifle by a complete stranger, to take out a happy couple. They never had any idea, never saw me coming. It was someone else’s idea to break them up, someone who didn’t have the right to make that decision for them. I swore I’d never do that again, and now here I was. Doing it.
    Chill out, I told myself, it’ll be all right. I’m sure Becky’s other half is paying for this. He just doesn’t want to do the dirty job himself. Wants to be on the moral high ground when she’s caught cheating. Suppose it would look bad if he dumped her after buying the engagement ring and all that. Don’t you worry, Mr Lakhani, I’ll set up your bride-to-be for you. You’ll get your money’s worth.
    Becky’ll be okay, I thought. She’ll bounce back. Girl like her could have anyone. Barry’s right. Just do the business.
    Barry was stressed, which I could sort of understand. Dealing with Larry must always remind him of his old job, and of the pig’s ear he made of his career in the detective industry. Being my agent was clearly the consolation prize for Barry. I had to remind myself sometimes that I was lucky to have him.
    I didn’t go bounding downstairs the same way I had only a week before. I trudged down like I was unbalanced, not sure of my footing. Everything felt out of kilter.
    Then I saw the girl coming up towards me.
    She was bright and beautiful – those were the first impressions. Shiny blonde hair, very simple and classic, down to her shoulders. A white blouse, unbuttoned halfway down with the ends tied off above her navel, exposing a gym-flat stomach. Denim jacket. Light blue stonewashed jeans. White trainers. The girl gave off her own light.
    She looked up the stairs, smiled.
    She was gorgeous .
    I tilted aside to let her go by. She kept looking at me as she walked past, with surprisingly dark eyes. She was a few years younger than me, early twenties, and… I could actually feel my own heartbeat, all of a sudden. An instant reaction. (And although it didn’t cross my mind till later, I knew that most girls would despise someone like her on sight, just as instantly.)
    “Hey handsome,” she said.
    You know what I said to that? You know what razor-sharp riposte my lightning brain fired back?
    “Uh.”
    Unbelievable. After everything I’d done, after all the women I’d been with and all the experience I’d gained over the years, I just went blank! All I could do was turn and watch her walk up the stairs – watch that awesome backside move in those tight jeans.
    She glanced back, saw my face and laughed. Not a girlish giggle but a full-throated laugh. And then I stood there and listened to her walk up to the second floor.
    Holy shit. Was that Barry’s niece?
    I couldn’t believe it. How could a girl like that be related to Barry O’Nion? She was stunning! Barry was… well, he was just Barry. Stocky, ham-fisted, bullet-headed Barry. How could he be the uncle of an absolute knockout like that?
    For a full minute, I stood there on the stairs, wrestling with the idea of going back up to the office. Introducing myself. Talking to her. Getting to know her. Barry said she was only in town for a few days. How could I let her get away? I had to do something…
    And then I stopped myself. Remembered who I was. Barry was my agent. He was work. How could I get involved with a member of his family, even if only for a short time?
    Plus, I was in the middle of a job. I had things to do. I couldn’t go spending time and energy romancing some girl for real when I was supposed to be putting all my efforts into the Hargreaves case.
    So I walked out of the building and wandered through the nuclear-wasteland streets, not really seeing them. All the way home, there was