Free Bang: Memoirs of a Relationship Assassin by David Wailing

which was another reason why Darren being incommunicado kind of niggled me. But I stopped myself. Barry clearly wasn’t in the mood.
    “It’s going well. So what’s happening with you?”
    “Oh, usual, usual.”
    “We don’t see Larry very often. Is this something to do with that big case you mentioned?”
    Barry nodded. “He wanted to discuss it in person. Didn’t want to send me the info the usual way, by encrypted email.”
    “So have we got the case?”
    “Not yet. Still in the works, Larry still hasn’t finalised it from his end. And no,” he stopped me with a hand, “I can’t tell you anything more about it. Not until it’s a done deal. Be another week or so at least.”
    The hand became a pointing finger. “I want you to have a clear caseload by then, Scott. Get Hargreaves done and dusted by Friday. Don’t waste too much time on these small fry, all right? I want us to have cleared the decks so we can focus on this big one if Larry manages to send it our way.”
    “Gotcha. Just one quick question about Hargreaves, though.”
    “What?”
    “Well, I can’t really see why the client would want to use us, to be honest. I mean, there’s no big money at stake or anything. The target’s pretty ordinary… works as a receptionist, you know, just your average girl really. I was wondering why he wanted to set her up like this, rather than just dumping her. They’re not even married yet, so nothing’s stopping him calling it off.”
    “Who’s this?”
    “The client. Sajjan Lakhani. Her fiancé.”
    Barry spun in his chair, almost falling off, and pulled up the mission brief on his computer. “Well, there’s nothing in the case notes that says he’s the client. So it could be for any reason, really.”
    My stomach dropped, like I was in a lift. “So who is the client?”
    “Um… well, it doesn’t say.”
    The lift plummeted to the basement. “What do you mean it doesn’t say! Jesus, Barry, we don’t know who the client is? We don’t know who I’m working for?”
    Rule Two: Never work for a third party.
    Barry shrugged. “Probably this Sajjan bloke, but the case notes don’t specify. Look, does it matter? As long – ”
    “It does bloody matter!” I yelled. “You know how it works, I don’t interfere with couples unless it’s one of them who wants me to!”
    “For crying out loud, Scott, get a hold of yourself! Christ, does it really matter two shits who’s paying for it? I know you like to keep it in the family and all that, but as long as we get the job done and get paid, so what? Not my fault Londonwide Associates never passed those details on, is it?”
    Londonwide Associates was one of the more modest detective agencies that Barry knew. A lot of agencies have names like that – something generic, that doesn’t raise eyebrows if the other half spots it on a bank statement. Normally they were fine, not as good to us as Global Investigations, but they sent work our way from time to time. Now I wondered: had they ever bothered to specify the client on their cases, or had I always assumed it was the boyfriend, fiancé, husband? Was I getting that sloppy?
    Had Barry stitched me up like this before?
    “Look, call Londonwide Associates and ask for – ”
    “I’m not doing that,” he snapped. “I don’t have a direct contact there and I don’t have time to waste on a pissy little case like Hargreaves.”
    “I don’t like this, Barry.”
    “Don’t worry about it, not the end of the frigging world, is it? Just do the business and get out. Now bugger off. I got work to do. Oh, and I’m gonna be out of touch for a bit.”
    “Where you off to?”
    “Got my niece coming over. My sister’s kid. She’s in London for a few days. I thought I’d let her earn a bit of cash, tidy the office up a bit, record us some answerphone messages, stuff like that.”
    I tried to lighten the mood a little. “Nice idea. Infidelity Ltd is expanding, then!”
    “Yeah,” he said to the