Free California Sunshine by Tamara Miller Page B

stay here."
                  "Forever?" he asked, smiling.
                  I couldn't help but laugh. "Somethin' like that." I replied, blushing.
                  "I can arrange that." he said, sitting down next to me.
                  "Whoa--"
                  He stopped me. "I'm kidding. Kind of. You're pace. I've got to tell you, though. You're breaking down walls I never allowed anyone to break down. Ever."
                  "Mmhmm. Yeah, you're doin' that to me. I find myself thinkin' of you way more than I probably should and it's scary. I'm tryin' to let my heart free, but I just cain't. Not yet, maybe not ever. And I ain't sure you deserve that. I know you don't, you deserve somebody that can love you without question. And I'll always question my feelin's, my thoughts. I'm full of doubts and insecurities."
                  "Let me help you. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but let me help you. I'm not giving up on you, or us. I know deep down inside that there will be an us, and when there is, I'll love you like you've never been loved before."
                  "Just give me time, please. I'm not sayin' no, just, not today. That kiss last night, though, whew." I said, fanning myself with my hand.
                  He laughed, "Yeah. Tell me about it. I had a little trouble going to sleep."
                  "You too?" I asked, winking at him.
     
                  We were sitting on the couch, I had decided not to go back until tomorrow. "Hey. Can I ask you somethin'?"
                  "Anything."
                  "Can we build a fort? Please?" I asked.
                  He laughed, "We can build a fort. Where?"
                  "Right here!" I exclaimed.
                  "How many blankets do you want?" he asked.
                  "How many you got?"
                  "Well if I take the comforters off the beds, six."
                  "Perfect. I'll help." I said going to get up, but he grabbed my hand, pulling me back down.
                  "First, one kiss."
                  I smiled, a slight blush crossing my face. "Just one," I whispered, leaning into him. When I did, he pulled me into his arms and for the first time in forever, I felt like I belonged somewhere.
     
                  We had finished the fort and we were laying inside. He had brought his tablet in and there was a movie playing. I had my arms curled around a pillow, laying on my stomach. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and felt my body begin to relax.
                  "I won't judge if you want to take a nap."
                  I giggled, my eyes still closed. "I'm sorry. I ain't been sleepin' good."
                  "Why haven't you told me? Have I been keeping you up too late?" he asked.
                  My eyes flew open. "No! Uh, I ain't told you, cause I didn't want to bring you down with me."
                  "You wouldn't have. Tell me now, why you haven't been sleeping very well."
                  I sighed. "I have nightmares. I'll wake up cryin', or havin' a panic or anxiety attack. I need to start seein' my therapist again. Yes. I'm that fucked up."
                  "You're not fucked up. Anytime you have a night like that, call me. Please."
                  "We ain't together, and I ain't gonna call you at three or four my time."
                  "You should. I've got some great ways to calm you down. Yeah, okay, we aren't together, but dammit I still want to help you."
                  "Fine. Fine. The next time it's unbearable I'll call you. Deal?" I asked, moving closer to him.
                  He put his arm around me. "Deal. Now let's really do this being grown kids thing right and