Free Don't Tell Me I Can't Do It! by Erica Miller

lifelong quest for self-actualization and achievement, I’ve known the satisfaction of prestige and the esteem of my peers. I’ve received some impressive honors. I’ve earned titles and enjoyed the status that comes along with them. But only late in life has destiny seen fit to grant me five precocious, unique grandchildren who are teaching me to embrace a new kind of dignity. “Grandmotherhood”is both the most modest and the most ambitious challenge I’ve undertaken yet.
    They call me Bubbe, which is Yiddish for “grandmother.” I delight in the title, just as I delight in watching my grandchildren evolve through their critical stages of development. I don’t recall paying much attention to my own children as they learned to walk and talk. I suppose I’m making up for that now.
    “But Bubbe means an old lady,” Dita once told me. “Why would you want to be called an old lady?”
    “Because I am!” I replied, matter-of-fact as usual.
    Having grandchildren was never a goal of mine. Years back, I said to my son, “Johnny, if I die tomorrow, don’t cry over me. I’ve had a wonderful life and experienced it all.”
    “But Mother,” he exclaimed in indignation, “you haven’t had grandchildren yet!”
    He was right, so very right. I could never have imagined then just how special and enriching Bubbe status could be. Watching as the little ones play and learn, grow and develop, I try to imagine what winding paths destiny has in store for them. My hope for them is thesame as for my readers: I want them to live their lives as abundantly and courageously as I’ve learned to live my own. I hope they never settle for less than the very best life has to offer them.
    In Park City with my son. December 2013.
    I’m still growing, still taking on new challenges in the process of becoming and experiencing the wonderof my life’s journey. I’m still living my life audaciously in the here and now. It’s a glorious place to be, and I hope my readers will join me.

Acknowledgments

    To my late mother, Fani Gelber:
    I remember the imprecise quote, “We women are smart, often smarter than men. Yet a woman without a man is nothing!” I knew you were only partly right; I proved to you I could “do it” with or without the approval of the man in my life. I hope you’re proud of me, Mama.

    To my one and only, quirky, funny husband, the late Jerry Miller:
    You were my life partner and biggest fan for fifty-three years. You “allowed” me to evolve away from you and with you. You inspired and applauded my achievements. You still do. Thank you.
    Ezer Weizman, Former President of Israel:
    To my HERO and Commander in Chief while in the Israeli Air Force from 1952 to 1954. I complained about the difficulty of taking apart and cleaning my rifle, and you assured me I could do it “chayelet” (soldier)!

    To Rabbi Gary Ezra Oren, Vice President of American Jewish University and Dean of the Whizin Center for Continuing Education:
    You are an inspirational voice in the community, and you hold a significant place in my spiritual development. Your presence in my life motivated me to author this book. Thank you. I dedicate much of this book to you. Thank you for enriching my life.

    To Dr. Noel Busch-Armendariz, Director of the Institute of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault at The University of Texas at Austin:
    Thank you for your endearing and heartfelt approach to people, academia, and friendship. You are brilliant!

    To Rebecca Gray Grossman, Publisher of Westlake Magazine and Chair of Grossman Burn Center:
    Rebecca, you are an inspirational treasure in my life. Your dedication and purposefulness in the community, and in the world at large, is admirable and contagious. I love you.

    To Gloria Terry, CEO of Texas Council on Family Violence:
    Few dedicate their heart and soul to their work as wholly and effectively as you, Gloria. You’re an inspiration.

    To Dan Ross of the Advisory Committee for the Institute on Domestic