Free Finding the Worm by Mark Goldblatt Page B

you
don’t
do those things I mentioned, then a lightning bolt comes out of the sky and strikes you dead.”
    “Well, it doesn’t have to strike you dead—”
    “But at least singe you around the edges,” he said.
    “That would be fair, yes.”
    “So then here’s my question to you: Who would ever be bad in Twerski-World? If good boys get cinnamon rugelach and bad boys get struck by lightning, you’d have to be a fool to be a bad boy.”
    “Wouldn’t that be a better world?” I said.
    “Do you know the story of Adam and Eve, Mr. Twerski?”
    “Everybody knows that story.”
    “But do you
know
the story?” he said.
    “Adam and Eve eat the apple—”
    “The what?”
    “The apple,” I said. “Adam and Eve eat the apple.…”
    His eyes got real wide, and I braced for him to yell. You could see he was thinking about yelling. He leanedforward as if he was about to rush out from behind his desk, but then didn’t. He sank back down in his chair and reached into the bookcase behind him. He took down a Bible and slid it across the desk.
    “Show me the apple, Mr. Twerski.”
    “It’s in the story of Adam and Eve.”
    “Then show it to me,” he said. “I’ll wait.”
    I opened the Bible to the book of Genesis. I knew right where to look, because that was the first thing the rabbis had taught us when I started Hebrew school. I found the story of Adam and Eve in the second chapter of Genesis, and I skimmed through the Garden of Eden stuff. I didn’t see the word “apple.” So I read the entire thing, line by line. It took about three minutes. Not a word about an apple.
    “It isn’t here,” I said.
    “So there’s no apple in the Garden of Eden?”
    “I guess not.”
    “What tree did Adam and Eve eat from?” the rabbi asked.
    “It says they ate from ‘the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.’ ”
    “That makes more sense, doesn’t it?”
    “But there’s no such thing as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”
    “You’re missing the point of the story, Mr. Twerski.Apples are good for you. They’re nutritious. This, we all know. Why would God tell Adam and Eve not to eat an apple?”
    “He wouldn’t,” I said.
    “As for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil—where was it?”
    “In the Garden of Eden.”
    “But where
exactly
? What does the Torah tell us?”
    I glanced down at the page. “It says that the tree was in the middle of the garden.”
    “In the
middle
of the garden, correct?”
    “Yes,” I said.
    “Not on the edge?”
    “No, it says in the middle.”
    “What does that say to you, Mr. Twerski?”
    I thought about it for a second. “He wanted them to see it?”
    “Don’t
ask
me!
Tell
me!”
    “God wanted Adam and Eve to see the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That’s why he put it in the middle of the Garden of Eden.”
    “Now here’s my question:
Why did God want Adam and Eve to see the tree
?”
    “How would I know?”
    “
Think
, Mr. Twerski! God told them not to eat from the tree, yet he put it right in the middle of the garden.He could have put it where they’d never see—out of sight, out of mind. But he put it where they’d have to walk past it every day. Why would he do such a thing?”
    “Because it was a test?”
    “Don’t
ask
me!
Tell
me!”
    “It was a test,” I said.
    “Exactly!”
    “But if he knew they were going to fail—”
    He slammed his fist down on the desk. “It’s not a test if you can’t fail!”
    “So you’re saying that Quentin got a tumor because he failed a test?”
    Rabbi Salzberg slapped his forehead. “Does that sound likely to you?”
    “Then I don’t get it,” I said.
    “Figure it out, Mr. Twerski. That’s your haftarah lesson for today.”

January 19, 1970
Good Citizenship
    Here’s the fourth essay on good citizenship I wrote for Principal Salvatore:
    The apple isn’t an apple. The apple isn’t an apple. The apple isn’t an apple. The apple isn’t an apple. The apple isn’t an