Free This Is the Life by Alex Shearer Page B

p.m.”
    â€œOkay. I’ve got it now. Let’s try again.”
    â€œLet’s let a moment go past first.”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œYou remember what we’re having for dinner?”
    â€œYeah. Yogurt and chips. That right?”
    â€œPretty close. Okay. Let’s try the PIN number again.”
    â€œYou know that strictly speaking it should just be PIN without saying number after. Because PIN stands for personal identification number. So if you add another number after that, what you’re really saying is personal identification number number.”
    â€œIs that so?”
    â€œNow, that’s the kind of stuff I can remember.”
    â€œUseful.”
    â€œIt’s all the—bits and pieces—I forget.”
    â€œOkay. Shall we try the PIN number again?”
    â€œJust PIN. No number. Just PIN.”
    â€œOkay. Shall we try your PIN again?”
    â€œOkay. Shall I go first?”
    â€œYes, of course, Louis. There’s no point in my telling you what it is. That’s not going to help.”
    â€œOkay, I’ll go first with the—the bits and pieces—”
    â€œPIN number.”
    â€œPIN. Just PIN.”
    â€œOkay, Louis. What’s your PIN? Can you remember the mnemonic?”
    â€œThe what?”
    â€œThe aide-mémoire ?”
    â€œWhat aide-m émoire ?”
    â€œThe little tip for remembering. The time.”
    â€œOh, yeah. Right. Seven fifteen. In the morning.”
    â€œGood, good. That’s great. That’s progress, Louis. That’s great. So what’s your PIN?”
    â€œIt’s—it’s seven one five.”
    â€œIt’s four digits, Louis, four.”
    â€œIt’s—seven one five—ah, damn it!”
    â€œSlowly, Louis, take it slowly, don’t get angry. It’ll come to you. There’s no pressure. Just relax.”
    â€œZero seven one—five.”
    â€œGot it. Perfect. See? Said you’d get it. Good. All right.”
    â€œWe’re screwed, you know. We’re screwed.”
    â€œLouis, we’re not screwed. You’ve had the surgery, they’ve taken out as much of the tumor as they can. Now they’re going to nuke the rest and kill it with the chemo. In six months’ time you can fly over and see us. We’ll take a trip, go to Scotland, wherever you want to go.”
    â€œYou remember the last time I came over and we went to the book festival and saw that woman talking about that guy, what’s-his-name?”
    â€œYes, I remember.”
    â€œWe had some good times, didn’t we?”
    â€œYes, we did, Louis. We did.”
    â€œShe talked about her life in New York and the bits and pieces. She was from that rich family.”
    â€œRothschild.”
    â€œAnd he was that jazz player.”
    â€œWas it Monk?”
    â€œYeah.”
    â€œI’m going to start cooking in a minute, Louis. Why don’t you go and watch Deal or No Deal ? You like that.”
    â€œThey have some right idiots on that program. Some complete stiffs. If they just bothered to work out the mathematical odds in advance—”
    â€œWell, you sit down and work them out.”
    â€œYogurt and chips, right?”
    â€œKind of, yeah.”
    â€œI’m going to lie down awhile.”
    â€œDon’t fall asleep.”
    â€œWhat’s my PIN number?”
    â€œYou tell me.”
    â€œZero seven—one—eight.”
    â€œFifteen, Louis. Seven fifteen.”
    â€œZero seven one five, damn it. I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid. I’m just so goddamn stupid.”
    â€œLouis, you are not stupid. You were always cleverer than the rest of us put together.”
    â€œIt’s the bits and pieces. The damn—bits and pieces . . .”
    â€œI know, Louis. I know. I’m going to start cooking now.”
    â€œOkay. Hey. Zero seven one three! That’s it, isn’t it? Zero seven one