Free A Thousand Small Explosions by John Marrs

frequent similar pubs for their cheap Sunday lunches with all the trimmings that reminded her of home. Now when she went out of an evening, it was all about pompous wine bars, exclusive members’ only clubs and grandiose dining.
    Suddenly she spotted her DNA Match Tim sitting alone by a two-seater table with a partially drunk pint glass in front of him. He too looked anxious as his eyes flitted around the pub until they met Ellie’s. Immediately he seemed to know she was the girl he was there to meet. Upon noticing this Ellie hoped he hadn’t recognised her from her public profile. She’d deliberately dressed down in a casual pair of jeans and blouse and tied her hair back. She kept her make-up to a minimum and left her expensive jewellery in the safe at home.
                  A broad grin spread across Tim’s face as he waved, then stood up to shake her hand, drew her in close and gave a peck on the cheek. She went for a second, but caught him clean on the nose with her lips instead. Both laughed and after the initial introductions and pleasantries, Tim ordered her a Hendricks gin and tonic as she’d requested and returned to the table with the drinks in his hands and two packets of salt and vinegar crisps dangling from his mouth.
                  ‘Sorry, but I’m starving,’ he replied, dropping them on to the table. ‘I’ve got a massive workload on so I came straight from work and skipped my dinner. Help yourself.’
                  ‘Thank you,’ she smiled and took a couple of crisps to be polite. She could picture the horrified expression on her personal trainer’s face if he were to witness her putting carbs into her mouth after 6pm.
    The conversation between them flowed like it had by text message, like two old friends who hadn’t seen each other for some time but who were picking up where they’d last left off. They swapped stories about their dreadful dating histories, Tim tried to convince her that Quentin Tarantino was the greatest film director of all time while Ellie extolled the virtues of a macrobiotic diet. He spoke about his work as a freelance systems analyst and computer programmer while she told him she was a personal assistant to a CEO in London. She was so convincing about her role that she began to believe her own mistruths. They shared barely any interests but neither seemed bothered.
                  ‘So do you believe in this Match Your DNA thing?’ asked Tim in the third hour of their date.
                  ‘Yes, I take it from your tone you’re not convinced?’
                  ‘I’m not going to lie, I was a bit unsure at first,’ he continued, ‘and I only signed up because one of my mates did it. Now he’s pissed off because he still doesn’t have a Match after two months and I found you within a day. But even then, I wasn’t sure if it was the real deal – it sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? That there’s only one person in the world who’s like really, completely, linked to you through your DNA and who you’re supposed to fall head over heels in love with? But then you walked into the pub and I thought my stomach had just fallen out of my arse.’
    He smiled as Ellie stared at him, partly in wonder at why such opposite personalities had been Matched and partly because he was the least pretentious man she’d been on a date with in years. ‘Honestly Ellie, when I saw you come into the pub, I let out the longest fart, I thought I was going to fly across the room like a deflating balloon.’
                  Ellie couldn’t help but laugh along with him.
    ‘I mean it could be a bit of IBS or it could be love, or the beer could be off,’ he continued, ‘who knows?’
    ‘So was it love at first fart?’
    ‘You never know. Seriously though, I reckon I did feel something and sorry if that makes you feel awkward or if you’re not thinking the same, but I’m really glad