Free The Hawkline Monster: A Gothic Western by Richard Brautigan

created and the harmony of The Chemicals would be lost forever and soon the mischief would be turned in all its diabolical possibilities upon himself and his lovely daughters.
    A lot of the contents of The Chemicals were not happy with what had happened since the electricity had been passed through them and the mutation occurred that created evil.
    One of the chemicals had managed to completely separate itself from the rest of the compound. The chemical was very unhappy with the recent turn of events and the disappearance of Professor Hawkline because it had wanted very much to help mankind and make people smile.
    The chemical now cried a lot and kept to itself near the bottom of the jar.
    There were of course chemicals who were basically evil in nature and glad to be free of the professor’s good-neighbor policy who exulted now in the goofy terror the light, which was the Hawkline Monster, inflicted upon its hosts, the Hawklines, and anybody who came near them.
    The light possessed unlimited possibilities and took a special pride in using them. Its shadow was disgusted with the whole business and trailed, dragging its feet reluctantly behind.
    Whenever the Hawkline Monster left the laboratory, drifting up the stairs and then slipping like melted butter under the iron door that separated the laboratory from the house, the shadow always felt as if it were going to throw up.
    If only the professor were around, if only that terrible fate had not befallen him, he would still be singing:
“Me and Mamie O’Rorke,
Tripped the light fantastic,
On the sidewalks 0f New York.”

• The Hawkline Orchestra •
    Greer and Cameron and the Hawkline women, who were still mystified by their behavior, returned clothes to their bodies and all joined together in a music room on the same floor as the bedrooms that they had just finished making love in.
    Greer and Cameron put their guns down on the top of a piano. Miss Hawkline went downstairs and made some tea and brought it back up on a silver platter and they all sat in the music room surrounded by harpsichords, violins, cellos, pianos, drums, organs, etc. It was a very large music room.
    To make tea Miss Hawkline had to step around the body of the giant butler in the hall downstairs.
    Greer and Cameron had never had tea before but they decided to try it because what-the-hell with all the things that were going on in this huge yellow house that was so weird that it almost breathed, straddling some ice caves that penetrated like frozen teeth deep into the earth.
    Greer and Cameron had wanted to do something with the dead body of the giant butler as soon as they were finished with the living bodies of the Hawkline women, but the women insisted that they all have tea first before getting onto the disposal of the butler who was still sprawled out like an island in the hall.
    A freshly-started fire was burning in the music room fireplace.
    “Do you like your tea?” Miss Hawkline said. She was sitting beside Greer on a couch next to a harp.
    “It’s different,” Greer said.
    “What do you think, Cameron?” the other Miss Hawkline said.
    “It doesn’t taste like coffee,” Cameron said. He counted all the musical instruments in the room: 18. Then he said to the closest Miss Hawkline, “You have enough musical stuff here to start a band.”
    “We’ve never thought about it in that way,” the Miss Hawkline said.

• The Butler Possibilities •
    “What are we going to do with the butler’s body?” Cameron said.
    “That is a problem,” Miss Hawkline said. “We’ll really miss him. He was like an uncle to us. Such a good man. Huge but gentle as a fly.”
    “Why don’t we start by moving him out of the hall. It’s hard walking around him,” Cameron said.
    “Yes, we should move him,” the other Miss Hawkline said.
    “Why didn’t we do that before we sat down here and started drinking this stuff?” Cameron said, looking disdainfully at his cup of tea. It was very apparent