Free Beebo Brinker Chronicles 3 - Women In The Shadows by Ann Bannon Page A

she whispered, her lips against Laura's lips, “I adore you, Laura. You're my life. Stay with me, stay with me, don't ever leave me. I can stand this, I can stand anything, if you're with me. Swear you'll stay with me, darling."
    Laura's voice stuck in her throat. She couldn't refuse. And yet she knew full well she would be swearing to a lie. It made her hide her face in painful indecision for a moment.
    "Swear,” Beebo demanded imperiously. “Swear, Laura!"
    "I swear,” Laura sobbed. She felt Beebo relax then with a sigh, running her hands through Laura's hair.
    Beebo gave a faint little laugh. “I never thought anything so rotten ugly could have a good side,” she murmured. “But if it's brought us back together, I'm glad it happened. It was worth it"
    Laura was shocked. Beebo sounded a little unbalanced. “You can't be grateful for anything that horrible, Beebo,” she protested. “You can't, not if you're in your right mind."
    "You can if you're as much in love as I am!” Beebo said, looking at her. Laura was shamed into silence.
    After a little while, Laura raised herself on an elbow. “Beebo, I'm going to call a doctor."
    "You're going to do no such goddam silly thing."
    Laura lost her patience. “Now you listen to me, you stubborn idiot!” she exclaimed. “You've been badly hurt. It's just madness not to have medical help, Beebo. You know that as well as I do. Don't argue with me!” She cut Beebo off as she about to protest. “Besides,” Laura went on, “you might want to prosecute them. How could you prove anything without medical evidence?"
    "Prosecute?” Beebo stared at her and then she gave a short, sharp laugh. “Are you kidding? Who's going to mourn for the lost virtue of a Lesbian? What lawyer is going to make a case for a poor queer gone wrong? Everybody will think I got what I deserved."
    Laura stared at her, disbelieving. “Beebo,” she said finally, as if she were explaining a simple fact to a slow beginner, “you don't go into court and say, ‘I am a Lesbian.’ You don't go to a lawyer and say it. You don't say .it to anybody, you nut! You say, ‘I'm a poor innocent girl and I was criminally assaulted and hurt and raped and I have medical proof of it and I can identify the man who did it!’”
    Beebo turned on her side and laughed, and her laughter made Laura want to weep. “Not man, Bo-peep,” she said when she got her breath. “Men. Bastards, every last one. There were four of them."
    Laura moaned, an involuntary sound of revulsion.
    "No thanks, baby,” Beebo said, her voice suddenly tired “I've got enough trouble in the world without advertising that I'm gay. I always knew this would happen and I always knew what I'd do about it ... just exactly nothing. Because there's nothing I can do. It's part of the crazy life I live. A sort of occupational hazard, you might say."
    Laura pleaded with her. “I just want to be sure they didn't do you some awful harm you don't know about, darling!” she said. ‘Tm no doctor, I can't give you anything but bandaids and sponge baths and love."
    "That's all in the world I want, baby,” Beebo smiled. “I'll get well in no time."
    But Laura was too genuinely frightened to let it go at that. “What if they come back?” she asked. “Then they'd get us both."
    "No, they wouldn't,” Beebo said and her face became hard. Because I'd kill any man who laid a hand on you. Any man. I don't care how. I wouldn't ask any questions. I'd do it with whatever was handy—a knife or my own hands.” Laura started, staring at her. “No man will ever touch you, Laura, and live. I swear."
    Laura went pale, wondering how Beebo would react to a marriage between herself and Jack; wondering how much violence she was capable of. “All right, Beebo,” she said. “Will you—just tell me one thing? Why won't you see a doctor?"
    Beebo turned away from her then, petulant as a child. “I haven't seen a doctor in twenty years, Bo-peep,” she