Free Beebo Brinker Chronicles 3 - Women In The Shadows by Ann Bannon Page B

said.
    "Why?"
    Beebo sighed. “Because they might find out I'm a woman,” she said quietly.
    Laura covered her face with her hands and cried in silence. It was futile. Beebo was a woman, no matter how many pairs of pants hung in her closet, no matter how she swaggered or swore. And while she could fool some people into thinking she was a boy, there were a lot more she couldn't fool, and to them she looked foolish and rather pathetic. But Beebo was too sick to argue with. Laura was afraid of the way she talked, of the harsh way she laughed.
    "Well talk about it in the morning,” she said.
    "We won't talk about it at all,” Beebo said, facing the wall, her back to Laura. “Where were you tonight, Laura?"
    Laura swallowed convulsively before she could answer. “I was at the movies,” she said.
    She waited for Beebo to question her further, but there was no questioning.
    "I guess I'd better wash,” Beebo said. She rolled over and looked at Laura. “Do you really love me, baby?” she asked, and her eyes were deep and clouded.
    "Yes,” said Laura with a sad little smile, afraid to say anything else.
    Beebo gazed at her for a while, returning the smile. “Thank God,” she whispered, her hand caressing Laura's shoulder. And then she said, “Where's Nix?” She started to get out of bed but Laura stopped her.
    "They hurt him, Beebo,” she stammered.
    "Hurt him? How?"
    "They—darling, I don't know how to tell you—please, Beebo!” she cried in sudden fear as Beebo pushed past her. She stopped at the edge of the bed, staring with huge eyes at her little pet.
    "I didn't realize—it was so bad,” Beebo blurted inanely.
    "He's dead,” Laura whispered.
    "Oh. Oh, that was too much. Too much...” Beebo stared at him, her face almost stupid with sorrow. She didn't scream as Laura had, or turn away sick. She just gaped at him for a while with Laura clinging to her and murmuring, “It's all right, darling, it's all right,” because she didn't know what else to say.
    Beebo got off the bed and went to him, kneeling beside the ruined little body, and picked him up in her arms.
    Beebo looked at Laura with the blood running all over her and there was grief on her face. “He was just a dog,” she moaned. “Such a little dog. There was nothing queer about him! ... And he could talk, too.” She almost shouted it and Laura waited, trembling, for her to move.
    "He was so sweet, Laura,” she said with tears coursing down her face. “You never liked him much, but he was such a good dog."
    "I loved him, Beebo, he was a part of your life,” Laura protested anxiously.
    But Beebo ignored it. It was half a lie, spoken in affection, but still a lie. “I could always talk to him and it seemed as if he understood,” Beebo said. “I know you thought I was crazy. But there were times when I had to talk to somebody and there wasn't anybody. Only Nix. I had him for seven years ... since he was six weeks old.” And she clutched him to her and wept and Laura looked at her, all bloodied and heart-broken, and thought, She feels worse about the dog than about herself.
    "Now that he's gone ... at least we'll have one less thing to fight about.” Beebo looked very pale and odd. “Won't we, baby?” she said.
    "I—I guess so,” Laura said. She's cracked! she thought. She went into the living room then, leaving Beebo alone for a few minutes, and called Jack. He was alone.
    "Jack, I don't know how to tell you. I—they raped Beebo.” Her voice was low and shaky.
    Jack wasn't sure whether she was kidding or not. He wasn't even sure he heard her right. “Lucky bitch,” he said. “I wish they'd rape me instead. I'm never in the right place at the right time."
    "I'm serious, Jack."
    And when he heard the catch in her throat he believed her. “Who raped her, sweetheart?” he said, and the levity was dead gone from him.
    "She doesn't know. Some hoods. God knows who they were.
    "Did you call a doctor?"
    "She won't let me!” Laura's voice