Free Restoration & Forgiveness (Renovate Book 2) by Mindy Carter Page B

I'm not sure if he's remembering the baby he lost, but he's still smiling.
    "I can't believe that Kaleb is going to be a dad."
    "I know, he's going to be a great dad," I tell him.
    "The best."
    He lifts his eyes to mine and I'm under his spell. How can one man's eyes tell me so much? It's thrilling and unnerving at the same time.
    "I'm not pregnant, Keegan," I blurt.
    "I figured as much, since you were drinking last night."
    His eyes fill with sadness, and after seeing the beginning of one life, I'm a little sad too. I don't know why exactly, because having a baby right now would complicate things even more, but I would have been happy to have a piece of Keegan, even if we can't be together, because he too would be an amazing father.
    "I took a test and it was negative. One less thing to worry about, I guess," I admit.
    Swiftly Keegan grabs my wrist, pulling me in to him. He's still holding my phone. I have my eyes glued to the floor. I don't want him to see the emotion I'm carrying. I know the moment he looks into my eyes he'll feel what I do.
    "Aimee, look at me."
    I slowly lift my gaze to his. We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. His thumb is right on my pulse, and I'm sure he can feel how rapid my heartbeat is.
    "It's okay to be sad. I'm disappointed too, but you will have plenty of time."
    "I'm not sad," I lie. Everything happens for a reason. I've always taken comfort in that saying. That we don't control who we fall in love with, that certain paths are set in front of us for a particular purpose. It's always made little sense. When I was younger, I asked myself what did I do to deserve to be motherless at six years old, and why did my best friend abandon me. The world keeps spinning and mine just feels like it's been bounced around continuously my entire life.
    "Yeah, that's bullshit," he tells me.
    I go to pull away, but he's got a nice grip on me still, so much that he pulls me closer to him. He's got me wrapped in his arms and my face is buried in his chest. His warm, naked chest. He's holding me and it's soothing. I'm not ashamed of accepting comfort. I know I'm angry and trying to push him away, but Reese's words just echo in my head.
    He loves you, and no matter what happens that's not going to go away.
    I doubt it will ever go away for me either. Feeling his steady heartbeat, I'm actually convinced that I may never be able to get over him. No one holds the power he does over me. We are like those magnets that just pull together so perfectly. See, there goes my head and my heart doing two different things again.
    I pull away from him, and he releases his hold on me. He holds my phone out to me and I take it.
    "My heart is your heart. When you hurt, I hurt. If there was anything I could do to take away your pain, I would. If I could spend every last dime on a time machine, I would run to the bank right now. I would fix all my mistakes, and take away every ounce of hurt I have ever caused you."
    I stare at him and nod. I believe him. I know how he feels about me; I don't doubt that he cares, but I'm just not sure about our future. I'm still not convinced we have one. At least the one I've dreamed of. Then I think of that castle he's building, and for a moment I'm happy, because I can picture it so easily.
    So I turn and walk away from him, knowing he's offering me a future, but at what cost? What happens when it's not just us? This isn't where our jobs are, or our friends, it's just where we spent our childhood.
    I enter my bedroom and lie in the unmade bed, curling myself into my pillows. Keegan's scent is all over my sheets, and I know I'm screwed.
     
    ***
     
    Keegan insists on driving me to the hospital, and after last night l may be able to trust him again. The things he's told me about our time apart are shocking and worrisome. I do have regrets, and wish more than anything that I could have been there for him.
    I need to stop this train of thought and look ahead. I've learned from my own