Free The World Outside by Eva Wiseman Page A

to G-d, to Hashem. Nothing is more important than that.” As I said these words I felt at peace, whole, as if I were a frothy wave in a vast and beautiful sea.
    He stepped so close that I could see every pore on his face. “There’s more to life than you know, Chanie,” he said. He pointed toward the City, toward the faintoutline of the tall buildings straining toward the sky. “There’s more out there than you can imagine. There is music there! Think about it. Music!”
    And, for a moment, I did think. I thought of a world full of possibilities. A world full of sound. But then I moved away from him and was back in Prospect Park. I slung the schoolbag over my shoulder.
    “I have to go now. I told Mama that I’d be home for dinner, and I don’t want her to call Devorah Leah’s house because I’m late.”
    He held out the Juilliard application. “Don’t be mad at me. Take the application, please,” he said when I kept my hands closed by my side.
    I finally took it from him and stuffed it into my bag.
    He smiled. “Same time next week?”
    “Same time next week,” I said, echoing his words.
    A sharp jab in my ribs made my eyes fly open. For a moment, I didn’t know where I was.
    “Wake up!” whispered Devorah Leah, sitting next to me.
    “So, Chanie Altman, you finally grace us with your attention. Perhaps you’ll be kind enough to put your solution to the problem on the blackboard.”
    I stared in bewilderment at Mrs. Potash before she stomped back to her desk at the front of the room. Every girl in the classroom had her gaze fixed on me.
    “She’s talking about the geometry problem she assigned for homework,” Devorah Leah said quietly.
    I shook my head to clear it, picked up my notebook and made my way to the blackboard. I thanked my lucky stars for the hour I’d spent in my room solving the problem after I left David. Luckily, I had done a thorough job, and all I had to do was copy the equations from my notebook onto the board without any heavy thinking. Mrs. Potash’s three chins shook in frustration as she waited for me to make a mistake.
    “Correct,” she said grudgingly when I finally finished. “But pay more attention in class. Understood?”
    “Yes, ma’am,” I mumbled.
    The bell rang and she turned her back to me. I gathered up my books with the other kids and headed for the door.
    Devorah Leah ran up to me. “What’s the matter with you?” she asked. “You never fall asleep in class!”
    “I’m just tired, that’s all.” I tried to pass her, but she grabbed my sleeve.
    “What’s going on, Chanie? Can I help?”
    I fidgeted with the strap of my schoolbag to avoid having to look her in the eye. “Nothing’s wrong. Like I said, I’m just tired. I hardly slept the last three nights.”
    “Are you feeling guilty for meeting David in the park?” she whispered as she followed me into the hall. “What happened there?”
    “Nothing happened! I already told you that I only saw him that one time to ask him to leave me alone.”
    Devorah Leah drew even closer. “If your conscience is clear, then why can’t you sleep?”
    As I noted the concern in her eyes, I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to confide in her. I wanted to tell her that I was planning to see David again. I wanted to tell her about Juilliard. The words crowded to my tongue.
    “Okay,” I whispered, “I’ll tell you what’s really—”
    Just then, the bell rang and the hall began to empty of students.
    “Oh, no!” she cried. “I have to go. I have Chumash class next period. But let’s talk later!”
    I stared after her, frustrated and relieved at the same time.
It’s a good thing she had to leave
, I said to myself.
I have to make this decision without any help. What should I do?
To be surrounded by music would be heaven on earth. And to be able to sing would make me happier than I could even imagine! However, Mama and Papa would never permit me to study singing. And they would be furious with me for