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mother.
    I must say, it being the first time, my stomach was tied and twisted… My skull headachy and clouded with questions. My health,
     which had been good up until that moment, was quick to fall. My dearest E’s mother had a look about her that which I had never
     seen before.
    My finger to put a point on it, after a longish evening of tea and crackers, the thought came to me. Respectful as I could
     be, I did not mention the thought to E until after we had left her mother behind. It was then that I said to E just what I
     was thinking. Her mother, however nice and motherly and helpful—her facial features (things I am quite aware of due to my
     work as a naturalist) reminded me of the African gorilla.
    She was not pleased to say the least.
    As I’ve said numerous times prior, my belief is that all creatures were created in the beginning… and remained as such throughout
     time. But in that moment, staring down the nose of my dearest wife’s mother’s face—I began to wonder if indeed such thoughts
     might be wrong. For, what if E’s mother-in-law, of the human species, was at some point not human at all? Perhaps, the longest
     ancestor removed… of an animal species?
    My beloved, of course, was cross with my thoughts and I apologized, for ’twas not meant to harm emotionally. But today, I
     cannot stop thinking about this idea. It is, yes, against God’s original plan—but what if there is another explanation?
    I received a letter last month from those planning a worldwide expedition on the HMS
Beagle
— looking for a naturalist on a trip to the strange Galapagos islands. I had disregarded such a trip for there was no reason
     for me to go—for what hypothesis would I be able to prove in such a place? That is, now, my thoughts betray me.
    My mother-in-law looks like an ape. And I must find the reason for such a thing—and the one place I know where to look is,
     out there, in nature.
    I have placed on here, side by side , a picture of my beloved’s mother and the African gorilla. While I am gone, you may discuss amongst yourselves if you think
     my beliefs have merit or are simply the insane mutterings of a less-than-respectful husband.

From: http://www.pt_barnum.com/blog/
    Subject: Current Job Openings at Barnum Amusements!
    Most of you reading this blog are familiar with the famous midget “General Tom Thumb” and the famous show which I produced
     with him. We have had a rollicking run but now it is time for new performers to take his place! We are currently hiring new
     performers!!
    Please e-mail me if you have any of the following talents and/or deformities… or you know someone who does. You can also upload your résumé here or create one in the Barnum Résumé-a-Popper!
    Barnum Amusements Is Currently Looking For:
    Women who look like men.
    Men who look like women who look like men.
    Midgets who fancy eating a ton of cheese.
    Native Americans who have piercings and dance exotically.
    People who can squirt liquid out of their nose or ears.
    Extremely tall or fat people who have squeaky voices.
    Half-animal/half-humans.
    People who are missing limbs and/or have deformities who are comfortable working with squirrels.
    Ugly fat babies that are cross-eyed.
    Double-jointed foreigners with strange accents.
    Really scary, ugly people.
    Barnum Amusements Is Also Looking for People Who Can Fit These Performer Titles:
    The Regurgitator
    The Milkman
    The Alcoholic Mouseman

    Zalmach the Attractor
    Miniature Mel
    The Newspaper Delivery Boy
    Hammerhead Hal
    Mexican Magician
    Two-Timing Flipper Baby
    The Astounding Dirt Licker
    Egg-Laying Lola
    The Blowhard
    The Earless Wonder
    Unnamed Strange-Lookin’ Fella (this name is subject to change)

From: http://www.dante_alighieri. com/blog/
    Subject: Hell! Can Now Be Yours!
    ABANDON ALL HOPE!
    HELL IS HERE!
    (Now Available for Download! )
    Unbaptized Pagans!
    Gluttons!
    Sloths!
    Heretics!
    Seducers!
    Flatterers!
    Rivers of